Monday, March 3, 2014

Worst phone conversation ever...

"Hi, Mom, how're you doing?"

"I'm having a heart attack."

Well. What do you do? Three degrees outside, snow plummeting down, and my mom decides to have a heart attack during Snowmageddon.

Okay, so my brother lives closer. Got him on the job. Straight to the hospital. Again. Feels like home these days.

The doctors don't think it was a heart attack. Inflammation of the sack around the heart. Or something.

I said, "Mom, next time you decide to have a heart attack, please do it in the Spring."

This was met with typical gloom and doom.

Gallows humor seems to be the only way to react these days. Or give in to my mom's self-pity party, strap on a hat, twirl a sparkler, and announce, with much gusto, "Huzzah! Everything sucks!"

Personally, I think she's been given a miraculous second chance with her heart operation. Thank you, anonymous cow organ donater. We'll call you Bessie. But it's time for Mom to go kick her heels up again in Florida, dancing with all the randy elderly gentlemen.


  1. You're a riot! I'm sorry about your mom, and I hope she has a fabulous time. I think my new motto is: "Huzzah! Everything sucks!" Now where did I put those sparklers?

  2. Does your mom know about 911? They make house calls.

  3. My mother-in-law ended up in the hospital on her deathbed once a year. Then when everyone would fly out from all over the world to see her, she'd miraculously get better and they'd go out for dinner. Every year she did this.

  4. I swear your mother and my grandfather must have the same condition. This past week it was a cough...probably pneumonia. It's so hard! Hope you're holding up okay!