Showing posts with label Liam Neeson. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Liam Neeson. Show all posts

Friday, May 3, 2024

How 'bout a nice hot cup of revenge?

"Revenge is a dish best served cold." So says the ubiquitous and mysterious "They." Lotsa tough guys (the kind who stitch their own wounds up) say it all the time in noirs and endless Liam Neeson revenge films (and truly, if your dad is Liam Neeson...emancipate yourself kids! Now!).

But what the hell does it mean? I've always pondered this strange saying. For one thing, I would think that revenge should be served up hot, because if you're seeking revenge, you're probably damn hot under the collar.

Second, why is it being served? Does Liam Neeson have a chef on call who follows him around on his daily doses of revenge-driven carnage? Does he wear the funny, poofy white chef's hat and tell the Neeson-mangled and beaten body laying in the street "you've been served, monsieur," with a crisp, put-upon French chuckle? Does he ask Neeson things like "Does monsieur prefer his revenge served cold or hot today?"

I tell ya, it makes no sense. It's enough to keep me up at night. And it does. So in the wee hours of the morning, I turned to my faithful research assistant, Ms. Google.

The quote is widely attributed to French author Pierre Choderlos de Laclos (why do the French have to have so many names?) in his 1782 novel Les Liaisons dangereuses. Or if you ask the geek contingent, they'll claim it's an ancient Klingon proverb. (I'd prefer to not ask them. Too often I hit my head in their mother's basements.)

Regardless, there's no clear answer as to what the saying means. One person suggests that seeking revenge is more satisfying if you put it off for a while (thus the "dish" growing cold). Another explanation is that if you seek to enact your revenge on someone who has wronged you, you won't be successful because the evil-doer is expecting retaliation. Thus, again, wait until the dish has cooled off than go in swinging. Or serving. Or eating. Or whatever.

These food metaphors really get my goat. Here's another one: "You can't have your cake and eat it too." Well...yes...yes you can! It's the whole point of ordering cake, for crying out loud.

I dunno. I think we need to ban food metaphors. It would make my universe much easier to understand.

And outside of Liam Neeson, do we "normals" really need to be worrying about serving up revenge, hot or cold?

Well, get ready, folks. Because if a certain "mandarin candidate" gets into the White House again, we can expect four years of ludicrous revenge, Neeson style. Only it won't be served cold. It'll likely be served IN ALL YELLY CAPS ON TRUTH SOCIAL!!!


Now that I'm done and kicked over my soap box, let's get to the hype portion of my post: check out my Tex, the Witch Boy series. It's got everything: humor, the supernatural, mystery, suspense, action, romance, and I'm pretty sure I included a kitchen sink in a couple of the books. Check out the series that nobody's talking about here!




Friday, June 16, 2017

What has Liam Neeson wrought?

Over the past holidays, my wife and I were traveling to Oklahoma and got bored. On her IPad, I sought out the most critically acclaimed films of the year that we needed to see. Boring. So we ventured into the worst reviewed films of the year.

Much more fun. And very eye-opening.

Several actors popped up, 3 to 4 times each, none of these films ever in theaters. I got excited, on the track of excitement.
Nicolas Cage! Bruce Willis! John Travolta! Pierce Brosnan (I always confuse him with the Perfect Strangers "Belki" guy. Anyone else?)! These actors...several academy award nominated...apparently have sunk into direct to DVD territory. The winds of change in Horrorwood.

Oddly enough, all of them appear in a crappy movie with hype like this: "Rock Hardguy is an ex Navy Seal. Bad guys have kidnapped his son. Rock won't stop 'til he gets his son back. And cause all kinds of mayhem and destruction while doing so."

Extremely jingoistic. Making movies great again!
Thank you, Liam Neeson! This guy cornered the market, made revenge a genre unto itself, just won't quit. I just saw there's a TV series based on this movie series. Good Gawd, how many times can a man's kids be kidnapped? 

The above-mentioned actors are all honing into Liam's turf. For God's sake, Keanu of all people, got into the act, violently enacting revenge for his dead dog ("Whoa.").

First of all: kids, if your dad's Liam Neeson, seek emancipation. Second, Liam, you're probably the worst father in the world. Finally, are people really watching all of these ridiculous revenge films?

And when did Liam Neeson become a bad-ass? Wasn't he kinda' a Shakespearean, hoity-toity dandy, all up in art and what-all? What's next, the brothers from "Fraser" as tough guy hit-men? "Death Wish" with affectation and a slight kick in the step?
Anyway...back to the awful film-fest. Wine helped, but didn't quite diffuse the stink. We watched Kevin Spacey turn into a cat. We groaned as John Travolta portrayed a redneck power and company man whose brother is electrocuted in a tragic line accident (and do I have to tell you when his brother dies, he raises his arms in the rain and yells, "Nooooooo!"? Sublime.). Nic Cage flew a plane while the world was whisked away to the Rapture. And we watched it all in shock and awe.

Thank you, Liam. Thanks a lot.