How Does "Woke Math" Add Up?

Okay, this is getting ridiculous.

I know a lot of people in our country are afraid of anything "woke." (For those of you who've been locked in a kidnapper's basement for the last several years, "woke" is defined as an alert to injustice in society, particularly racism. I don't know why this concept scares those on the far, far--so far, they may as well be in space--right contingent, but it does. Seems like a fine concept to me, but I'm digressing.)

But how in the world can something like math be considered "woke?" Honestly, all through school, I thought math sucked, but not because it presented a threat to society. No, it merely presented a threat to my graduating school.

In fact, math is right up there with toenails as being the least politicized thing I can think of. (At first, I compared it to "buttons," but then I remembered the Amish aren't allowed to use buttons on their clothing because they're pacifists and the military loves their buttons. So, hence, buttons are woke! You read it here first!) (Triple digression time! I just read that Taylor Swift got a pedicure and painted her toenails red, white and blue to tell people to vote. So...my argument for toenails not being politicized just went out the window, too. Dammit!)

So that just leaves math as being the only thing not politicized on earth these days. Except the far right fringe wants to take that away, too.

Back to the beginning...how can math be woke? Apparently, it's all tied into critical race theory, particularly as it's taught in schools. This so-called "theory" has been kicking around for some time, but now is being tossed around like sticks of gum. Once again, the far right fringe feels threatened by it, as they believe it will further divide and pit people of color against the privileged white folks (yeah, right...like the white supremacists aren't doing a good enough job of their own on that front). The far left feel it's a way of understanding how racism has shaped public policy. I dunno...I kinda think it's a good thing to try and learn from our past mistakes and not sweep them under the rug. You know, learn from the past so as not repeat it? Whoops! Too late for that!

"Good ol'" Ron DeSantis down in Florida is leading the "let's clean up the woke math book problem." This year, the state rejected 54 of 132 proposed math books because DeSantis and crew claimed they promoted math problems that featured racial prejudice. (And everyone knows that in the "New Amurica," racial prejudice is only cool if it comes from white supremacists. Like the banning of these books.) From what I could tell, the math problems in question performed a multi-function task: they applied real world problems and situations such as racism charts amongst age groups to further educate and prepare children for the world they'd be facing. Oh yeah...and they taught math, too. Clearly, these math problems were tailored to children of color, which if it helps them learn, how can it be a bad thing? Kinda important, I think.

But DeSantis and klan crew doesn't see it that way. Apparently, only "white math" should be taught.

Now, if the problematic books featured a problem like "If six Ku Klux Klan members are riding by horseback to a Trump rally ten miles to the North at 20 miles an hour, and the Proud Boys are riding in a pick 'em up truck at 80 miles per hour starting at 60 miles South, who would arrive at the Trump rally first?" I might be shocked. Nah. I'd probably frame the book.

I don't know. It just seems perverse that politicians are going after school math books now. Shouldn't they be doing something more time-worthy, like helping their constituents instead of creativing more divisiveness and problems than are necessary?

Leave my math alone! (Don't get me wrong, math, I still hate you. We broke up a long time ago. But, you don't deserve this.)

Speaking of school problems, poor Tex McKenna has got a ton of 'em in high school: bullying, fledgling love, clueless adults, homework, um...a serial killer and the fact he's just learned he's a witch. But, whew...woke math doesn't seem to be an issue here! Read all about it in Tex, the Witch Boy, available here!

 

People Can't Be Cancelled!

Let me see if I have this right...

At first, Johnny Depp was cancelled. Then he surprisingly got uncancelled.

But now Amber Heard is the unfortunate recipient of cancellation.

Oh, but, wait! Star witness James Franco is cancelled, but not because of the Depp/Heard trial. No, he was cancelled for reasons before this that doesn't involve the Great Cancellation Trial of the Cancelled Century.

Gah! I can't keep up with all of the cancelled people! And it aggravates me. Listen up, you whippersnappers: People can NOT be cancelled. Cancellation should be reserved for some third-rate TV sitcom about three hot girls with a dog and adopted twins who meet-cute hunky triplet lifeguards. You can't just look at someone like you're the Nielsen ratings board and pompously declare them "cancelled," because you don't care for the way they didn't use their turn signal in traffic. "You, sir, are cancelled! So, THERE!"

Wow. The sudden new influx of crazy politics, conspiracies, and threats has birthed a slew of horrible new "theories" and/or usage of words that just don't make sense.

I also have an issue with "woke." Now before you all get in a huffy tizzy, understand I think the ideas behind "woke" are great, something everyone should strive for. I hope I'm woke. But it seems to me if you're truly woke, you don't need to go around saying you're woke. It's kinda like giving an anonymous charitable donation, but then telling the press you did it. (Now, the deep far right people would have you believe that being woke is a heinous thing. Trump shouts at the top of his orange-hatred-filled lungs about anyone who disagrees with him, lambasting them as suddenly woke. I'm not really sure how anyone who acknowledges racism and unjust behavior toward those of different races, color, creed, gender, etc. as bad could be considered evil, but the rabbit-hole right divers certainly do).

No, the only issue I have with "woke" is how it's used. Shouldn't it be "I'm awake" or "he's awakened" or "recently, I woke up?" Absolutely drives the writer in me nuts.

Which also brings up the entire "critical race theory." Another proclaimed EVIL theory. The deep, deep dark right would like to have you believe that slavery, lynchings, hateful race crimes, our slaughter and robbery of the first true American people, and the Holocaust simply didn't happen. "Lies!" they shout to other crazies who'll listen. "Lies perpetuated by the vile, evil, communist left-wing liberals!" God forbid children should be taught about these dark crimes, so as to, you know, not repeat the crimes of our "forefathers."

Then there's the entire ludicrous "Great Replacement Theory" continually perpetuated by a self-proclaimed lying jackass on Fox "News."

Frankly, it's all rather distressing and depressing and entirely racist and hateful (Thanks Donald!), not a very rosy picture for the future of our rapidly deteriorating democracy.

I think I'll cancel myself, temporarily become unwoke, and go back to bed. Woke me up when it's all over. G'night!

Hey, hey, now, hoka-hey, you ain't gonna find any depressing "politics" in my Zach and Zora series! Nope, this mystery comedy series is all about Zach, a clueless male stripper (oops...I mean"male entertainer dancer") with his usually pregnant and very irritable sleuth sister as they try and solve the most outrageous murder mysteries since Jessica Fletcher discovered she had 5,000 nephews and nieces. There're three of 'em out now, and a fourth on the way. Check 'em out here!