Back in the Lap of Godland

You guys ever visit little Godland, Kansas? Well, don't! Trust me... It's a small, ironically Godforsaken little rural armpit of a town stashed away in Western Kansas populated by...well, I don't want to give it away.

Maybe in my excitement, I got ahead of myself here...

You see it's fine to read about Godland. Just don't visit there. In fact, I would urge you to read my book, Godland, and then you'll certainly want to stay away from the Hades hole.

Godland means a lot to me. It was the first out and out horror novel I'd written and was initially published in 2016. Alas, that publisher went under this year, but thanks to the great guys at Grinning Skull Press, they've resurrected my very first horror novel and given me a chance to spiff it up (and correct a LOT of troublesome timeline issues). Ta-dahhhhhhh!

The novel introduces a lot of themes that came to trouble my sleep and dominate my books: dysfunctional families, evil people (sometimes worse than the supernatural kind), lots and lots of plot twists and surprises, multiple characters' point-of-views, a so-dark-and-nasty-you-gotta-really-dig-deeper-in-the-grave gallows sense of humor, and (I hope) an impending sense of dread and mounting suspense. All of this set in my stomping grounds of the sometimes creepy, at times terrifying, more often than not pious red state of Kansas.

Call if farm noir.

Wait...here's the big tease:

An embittered farmer.
A New York corporate raider.
Two teenage high school girls.
A failed small business owner.

Past and present collide, secrets are revealed.
These disparate people gather at a desolate Kansas farm
for a hellish night not everyone will survive.
Godland is a dark psychological suspense horror thriller.

A Midwestern nightmare.
Farm noir.

There you have it. Oh! I almost forgot... Some of the incidents in this book are based on real events. One particularly nasty scene (I'm not telling which) sprang from something that happened to my dad. Another incident occurred to a friend of mine. I'll leave it to you guys to suss out the reality from the fiction.

And if you guys are really, really nice and buy the crap outta this book, I'll toss you a bonus and drop my original, dunder-headed, so bad it's hilarious, "happy" ending in a future post. Thank Godland, I came to my senses!

Okay, folks, that's Godland, published by the great Grinning Skull Press (best horror editor in the biz!) and available through the omnipotent, unavoidable, faceless leaders of the world, Amazon. Kindle version or spiffy trade paperback. Tell 'em "Edwin" sent you. Go on...do it. And then wait for funny hi-jinx to ensue.

 

The Bear Amenities

Those of you who've been following my blog for a while know I'm not the world's greatest outdoorsman. I never camp. Usually, camping is for masochists and drag queens.

However, my recent trip to the Amazon rain forest opened my mind. A bit, maybe, just a hair; a big ol' burly bear hair!

I'm ready to plunge into camping. But I have some preexisting conditions...

I told my wife I "have conditions." She sighed, said she knows I have lots of "conditions."

I paid no heed to her doubting Thomasina, 'cause I'm a brand new man. 

Let's nature!

I said, "Out in the wilderness, we'll need to rent a cabin. With a hot-tub."

"That's definitely not camping," my wife responded.

"Second," I said, on a roll, "I'm more than willing to give up TV! I can hardly believe it myself. I'm awesome! But we have to have WiFi."

"Yeah, right, that's not--"

"Finally, and there's no debating, I want to hug a bear."

Stunned, my wife just silently stared at me. Clearly, my new affinity for nature astounded her.

Look, as a new-born Grizzly Adams sort, there're three things about nature I know as fact:

1) Sticks shouldn't walk;
2) Squirrels aren't meant to fly;
3) Bears are the most cuddly creatures on the planet.

Duh.

Here's the indisputable truth...

A) There are two kinds of bears: those found in the woods and those lovable lumberjack, hairy lugs found in gay bars, both worthy of hugs;
B) Kids don't ask for "teddy wolves." I mean, seriously...even lil' kids know bears are lovable;
C) Finally, they call really good hugs "bear hugs" for a reason.

This ain't rocket science.

I have to experience one of those once-in-a-lifetime bear hugs. Aww, I can't wait to get my paws around one of those big, huggable lugs!

My plan is to rub honey on myself (Winnie, the Pooh can't be wrong, right? Although, now that I think about it, I do wish Pooh would wear pants. Kids need to know they can hug bears and not feel weird about it.) and open my arms up to all comers. 

I've got a really, really, really good feeling about this.

The new year is nigh (a word I've always wanted to use!) and to celebrate it, how about we all start being nicer to one another, regardless of how the world is being (non) run? Let's start with kind words, tolerance, acceptance. Maybe hugs. Especially hugs to cute strange critters, which you'll find an abundance of in my new horror short story collection, Twisted Tales from Tornado Alley. Um. Maybe lay off the hugs on these particular critters, though. Put out by the fine folks at Grinning Skull Press, take a tour of my imaginary  bestiary HERE.