Cats and Dogs Are On the Menu!

"Immigration...immigration...immigration...immigrants are poisoning the blood of our country...immigration, bla, bla, bla...They're eating the cats and dogs of Springfield..."

 Wait...WHAT?

"Immigrants are eating the pets of Springfield...immigration...immigration...immigration...I love rich, white men...immigration...immigration...bla, bla, bla..."

That's what I THOUGHT he said. Me and millions of others witnessed this latest lunacy and lie amongst Trump's debacle of a debate against Kamala Harris.

I nearly fell asleep listening to Trump rant and rage through his only campaign issue (guess what...yep! Immigration!), until he jolted me awake with his pet eating accusation. That's a fun, new twist!

But, honestly, it's the same ol' tired racism just on steroids. As far back as the 1800's, "Amuricans" have been accusing immigrants (it started with the Chinese population) of eating their pets, merely because there's a difference in skin color. And Trump's out there blatantly floating MARA ("Make America Racist Again"), even though the debate moderator debunked Trump's lie about Haitians eating pets, coming from Springfield, Ohio's city manager himself. Trump doesn't care. Because of his self-serving and dangerous racism and hatred and desire to divide, Springfield's had to evacuate schools and other public facilities due to threats.

Fun!

If the Trump loyalists would wake up and think about it, ALL of us are immigrants of a sort, descended from people from other countries (unless you're a Native American, but that's a tragedy best saved for another rant). And the racists are shamelessly tugging on people's heartstrings, because what's one thing EVERYONE likes and can agree on? PUPPIES AND KITTIES! 

(Me, I prefer the Spaniel Spaghetti and the Kitty Corn Dogs. I kid, I kid!)

Do we really want this racist clown "leading" our country? Leading us straight over a cliff like so many lemmings?

I mean c'mon! Even Taylor Swift, the most powerful person in the world, has endorsed Kamala, so that should speak volumes! (Okay, sure she's a "Psy-Op Agent for Socialism," but she maintains more credibility than, say...rapper Ye, white nationalist Nick Fuentes, and the MyPillow guy, three of Trump's trusted "cabinet members.")

So, this November, make the right call. Please. Now...pass the critter fritters...

Speaking of tall tales and lies, have you read my book, Ghosts of Gannaway? It's a meticulously researched, absolutely 100% true historical account of a doomed Midwest mining town. And everything actually happened! Well...maybe except for the ghosts. But other than that, it's totally true! Kinda...if you sorta ignore the part about the deadly native-american curse, the yellow-eyed fever, the haunted museum, ghosts past and present, a murderous conspiracy, and many other things. But you can read the ENTIRELY TRUE historical, supernatural novel HERE!

Death Race 2021

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines! Vrooooooom!

"Say, Leroy, you spot that fella over yonder? On the sidewalk? One with the sign?"

"I sure do, Norwood. What about him?"

"Well, the second he steps off the sidewalk, you know what we're gonna do?"

"No, I don't, Norwood. What?"

"Wayull, what would the one true President, Donald J. Trump do?"

Scratches chin. Tilts head back. Light bulb! "He'd call him names and make him cry, Norwood!"

"You dayum numbskull!" Norwood swats Leroy with his "Southern Pride" cap. "No, you idjit! Okay, what would MTG do?"

"Who?" Leroy closes one eye and shoots the other toward the sky.

"Don't you know nuttin'? Marjorie Taylor Greene!"

"Oh, right. The hottie. Wayall...she'd prolly shoot him daid for our civil liberties!"

"Well, sir, you got that right. But that ain't what I'm aimin' for." Sighs, then spits chewing tobacco out the window. "Let me make it easy for ya, since God skimped on yore brains, Leroy. What would Dale Earnhardt do?"

Leroy raps his finger on his jaw. Switches his lips back and forth. Suddenly, his eyes widen with clarity. Celestial trumpets fill the truck! Tim McGraw blares from the radio! "I got it! He'd run him over. Daid!"

"Now yore cookin'! Let's go get him! 200 bonus points if the feller ain't from Amurica! Yee-HAWWWWW!"

No, this isn't from an updated "Death Race" film, nor is it some horrific Dystopian science fiction book. Welcome to real life in the "America First" era!

This week, Republican legislators in Oklahoma and Iowa (with more states lining up) passed a bill which would give immunity to drivers who run over and injure protesters in the streets.

Yep, you read that right. Total insanity. When I saw this article, I couldn't believe it, thought it was surely a prank. But it's not. It's terrifying.

These so-called "lawmakers" are so afraid of the Black Lives Matter movement, that they're deputizing every crazy redneck with a pick-'em-up truck to run them down. All in the name of "America First," of course.

Free speech is now punishable by death. A "Citizen's Murder," if ou will. And it's legal! Fun!

Guys, what happened to America? How did we get so out of control and crazy?

Well, I can start pointing fingers, but I'm not going to play their game. 

No, the hell with that! Trump's "America First" doctrine has been the worst thing that's happened to this country since disco. His fascist and racist protocol has unleashed America's inner beast; it's been growling and seething behind white picket fences and covered up by mild smiles and manners for decades. Simmering like a pressure cooker.

Now, the GOP has handed the so-called "downtrodden white man" get-out-of-jail-free cards to kill freely. These incredibly stupid legislators don't realize the chaos they're about to unleash. Cars will become the new guns.

There was a time I actually admired the GOP. I never agreed with them (except for when I was a little kid and didn't know any better), but at least they stood for admirable ideals. At least I understood them. Now it's all gone to hell.

Even Trump recently said that if Republican politicians don't follow his "America First" protocol they just won't survive. For once, I agree with him. Damn it. 

Some old-school Republicans are remaining quiet, cautiously hoping Trump's relevance will fade away and take all of his vitriol, divisiveness, lies, hatred, and racism with him. But he's still making headlines and his army appears to be growing, with crazy-ass psychos like Josh Hawley and Marjorie Taylor Greene leading the way. A lot of these extremist "Republicans" are basking in the nutty headlights.

And how did M. T. Greene even get into office? Why are people giving her the chance to remain in the news? Glory-seeking publicity whores and insaniacs comprise a lot of the "new GOP." 

Get this...despite there being at least 156 mass shootings in the United States in less than four months, M. T. Greene is holding a raffle and giving away an AR-15 gun to the lucky gung-ho winner! All in the name of defending our civil rights, of course. Is this the actions of a "law-maker?"

But those evil, scary, nasty protestors need to be run over for daring to speak their minds. Right. I think their civil rights are kinda being left behind with skid-marks on their bodies. Isn't hitting someone with your auto illegal anyway, for God's sake?

Finally, I know that protestors from both extremist sides of the political aisle got violent. That's wrong, always will be. But what about the non-violent protestors (which MOST of the protests in the states have been, but they're not newsworthy)? What about my scenario above where the guy has to leave the sidewalk to go home?

Easy prey! Bam! Yee-HAWWWWW!

Good God, I never thought I'd say this, but "Come back George W. Bush. You don't seem so bad now."

(LAST MINUTE ADDENDUM: I wrote this post several days ago on a knee-jerk reaction to the crazy. I found out last night that the news article I read omitted one important point to the bill {now law}: this law applies only if you're trying to flee a riot. Still...it's untenable. And I can imagine people using "fleeing" as an excuse. How can it be proven in court? What's to keep the more loosely connected demonstrators from leaving the protest, and deciding to pick off some of their fellow "undesirable" protestors? My case still stands! At least for me.)

Stuart R. West's Amazon book page, featuring many tales of horror, humor, suspense, thrills, mystery, and other goofy stuff. Go on and click...looks like the world's gone crazy so you have nothing to lose anyway.
 

Dark Wednesday

Well. Wednesday was something. What exactly, I'm not entirely sure. But watching hundreds of Trump supporters desecrate the nation's capitol, attack, hurt people, and destroy everything that's truly supposed to make America "great"--I'm talking democracy--was a harrowing experience. I'm in shock, torn between disbelief, horror,  and fear of just how far this country has fallen in five years. 

I had such high hopes for you, 2021!

Frankly, for the first time, I'm kinda ashamed to be an American.

I shouldn't say that, not really. There were, what, 1,000 psychos at this Trump-Filled Terrorthon. That left about 328 million, smarter Americans at home. Then again, maybe Leroy couldn't get there  'cause he was too busy runnin' moonshine or gettin' his Klan outfit dry-cleaned or whatever.

Okay, I know I'm generalizing, but in all the photos and video, I didn't see one single person of color at the rampage. And when I see some jackass carrying a Confederate flag through the White House, what else am I to think? What's the world to think?

Honestly, isn't it about time to ban the damn Confederate flag, a symbol of racism, slavery, and hatred? I know we can't. People would be in an uproar, and I suppose for some it's a part of their southern heritage. They'll be ranting (while probably rioting), "You can't do that! I'm a damned patriot! I live in a democracy where it's my civil right to parade my proud heritage!"

Let's break that down...

First, what proud heritage? In terms Trump wouldn't understand, the South lost the Civil War. Second, why would you want to flaunt a symbol of slavery and racism? Just feeling frisky that day? Third--and I can't believe some people need a refresher course on this--one's civil rights end once they impede upon another person's civil rights. SO, over-the-top Trump supporters, quit your damn impeding already!

Jesus.

But I really shouldn't blame Trump's supporters. They got fired up somewhere by someone. Without a doubt, Trump fanned the fires. Sure, these wackos have been running around looking for a reason to do some good ol' violence, but Trump stood right behind them lighting match after match while his close conspiracy-loving buddies fanned the flames.

Four years ago, Hillary Clinton said that Trump would set America back thirty years. She was wrong. He set us back to the days of anarchy and racism and, well, on the precipice of a modern "civil war." Thanks, Donnie!

No matter what side of the political spectrum you fall on, violence should never be condoned or tolerated. Especially from our damn president! Trump used borderline language to do just that and praised these "patriots" afterward. Why? Because his brain can't grasp that he lost the 2020 election. Or he snapped from the power. Maybe he really just doesn't want to go to jail.

I hope his behavior isn't setting precedent for years to come. Like Trump (I can't call him "President" any longer and haven't for some time; frankly neither does most of the media), Senator Kelly Loeffler was defeated in the Georgia run-offs, but won't concede.

Frankly, I'm more worried about what lessons Trump teaches Americans. You know, lead by example?

For instance, I'm still pissed off about Costco dropping their incredible two cases of Kirkland Light Beer for the price of one! Sure it tasted like crap, but after three you'd never know. So, what's to keep me from storming Costco in my Confederate flag camo pants, wearing a beer helmet, shooting people with a t-shirt cannon, mounting the toilet paper shelves, and screaming, "Where is he? Dammit, show yourself, destroyer of killer beer prices!"

Several things will stop me: A) This is a really dumb scenario; B) Unlike the stolen election lies, this is actually true, but as I believe in non-violence, I wouldn't go through with it; and C) No matter who says what, inherently I know what's right and believe in living by our social and civil rules.

I'm a patriot (hard as it is to be these days).

You know, maybe I'll run for president next election on this platform. Seems like they'll take just about anybody. I wonder if Gary Busey would be interested in running as my V.P? Hmmm...

 

Rainbows, Puppies, Unicorns, Racism...wait...

Say there, Mr. Average American! How are you? Looking quite dapper, I see. Say, is all this nonsense about the fear of Joe Biden turning our country into a socialist one getting you down? Is it putting the fear of oppressed, privileged white men into you? Don't worry your purty lil' head, Mr. Average American! Because that's all it is...nonsense. It's typical fear-mongering crap meant to further divide our country and the one behind it all is, of course, the Manchurian Cantaloupe. 

With the impending, looming, fateful election day around the corner, I'm afraid it's time for me to get up on my Twisted Tales soap-box once again. But the last time I veered into these dangerous waters I got into trouble. SO, I promise to behave (fingers crossed). Sorta (not really). Scout's honor (I was a Scout drop-out).

My wife and I were talking the other day about racism. As much as I'd like to lay the blame for its terrifying rise on President Klandalf, my wife says he didn't start it. But he's made it worse. Hell, yes, he has. He's out there fanning the cross-burning fires at this very moment. In fact (as I once told my mom), do you guys know why Trump has such a fabulous orange comb-over? So he can cover up his "666" birthmark, of course. (My mom just stared at me in spooky silence.)

To watch the recent preposterous "debate" between Forrest Trump and Biden was stomach-churning. Especially when Trump pronounced "I've done more for black people than any president since Lincoln." My God, I wonder what it's like living in his delirious, delusional, orange world built on flagrant lies. In the same debate/debacle, Trump more than tossed in with the heinous "Proud Boys," giving them a rallying cry of "stand down, but stand by." What kind of message is this supposed to give Mr. Average American? Sounds to me like a cry to pick up arms against those of different color. 

Trump is dangerous.

Frankly, it scares me how much a lot of the country is reverting to racism. Years ago, in my naivete, I nearly cried when Obama was elected as the first black president. Why? Because I was really proud of our little country, pulling up its big boy britches, and finally--FINALLY--casting aside their racist blinders. I thought we'd turned a corner and would never look back around it.

Dumb. So very dumb.

As my wife and I discussed the terrifying rise of racism (MUCH more frightening than Trump tossing around words like "socialism" to scare Mr. and Mrs. Average Joe), she said it's systemic. Recently, a black man held a door open for her. She replied, "thank you, sir." A few minutes later, she wondered why she went with "sir," instead of the usual chipper,"thanks!" Was she wrong? Was it a bit of a reaction to some of the recent self-searching and anti-bias conversations that have been going on lately? Clearly, we all have a lot to learn, as we realize how we can all be part of a systemic problem of society. 

Maybe we should just be nicer to everyone. I'd love to get to the point where this is the case.

But what she'd described is what I'd been going through for years. I used to go out of my way to smile at black people, speak to them, do everything I could to make up for the crappy-ass way they'd been treated throughout history. I started young on this well-intentioned, but misguided, path. In sixth grade, when I began to reject my parents' shackles of racism, I went out of my way to befriend the new (and only) black kid in school. 

My daughter and I recently discussed this topic as well. She said, "Did you befriend him because you felt like he was an outsider and wanted to make him feel better or because he was black?" Really good question. I thought about it, finally said, "Because of both, I think, but mostly because he was black." And part of me wanted to make it all about me, have my own "black experience." Yeah...now that I write about it, it doesn't sound that great.

Furthermore, I went on to tell my daughter that I guess I'm trying to make up for the sins of past generations. I said, "Sarah, your great great grandparents owned slaves for God's sake!"

She said, "Racism exists. But I grew up in a melting pot of a school where color was never hammered into us. It didn't matter and wasn't a big deal. My first job was at a Montessori school where most of the kids came from a different cultural and ethnic background. Difference in skin color was never mentioned. Kids don't care what color you are. Dumb adults do. Don't lay your white guilt on me, pops! My generation doesn't have anything to atone for. That's all on you guys."

Well. Yes and no. I do see an improvement in their generation regarding how they view people of color and those of different sexual leanings. But it's important to learn from the past. Furthermore, I believe there are are conscious or subconscious biases in all of us. And it's up to us to stop it.

So get out and vote. It figures that it took a man of orange color to further divide people of different colors in our country. Don't let this happen again. VOTE!

There. I'm done now. Don't make me come over there.

My great (maybe not so "great") grandparents owned slaves!

I come from a long line of racists. Most in denial, yet oddly proud of it.

First of all...apologies for my ancestors' past transgressions.

My dad stuck by his convictions. I didn't agree, didn't like it, but at least he was honest about where he stood.

"I'm racist, son," he'd say, "and I don't mean maybe."

I'm not really sure what prompted his racism. He'd hinted at his past, some bathroom incident when he was in the army. I never pushed too far. Didn't want to. Some things are better off buried.

But as an impressionable young child, I couldn't understand why my parents disliked everyone un-WASPy.

"Why do you hate black people, Mom?" I'd asked.

"Me?" she said. "I don't hate colored people. There's some good dark boys out there."

"What about Jewish people? Wasn't Jesus Jewish?"

"Jews! Jews killed Jesus!"

"Hm. What about Catholics? What's wrong with Catholics?"

"Mercy sakes. They worship Mary!"

End of discussion. No insight gained.

With age (and I hope enlightenment), I discovered how ludicrous all of that nonsense was.

I spent years and years fighting my parents on this, trying to change their minds, to look at things differently, more accurately and humanely. Pointless as battling a tornado with a fly-swatter. Best I could hope for is not to get sucked into the crazy.

My mom's still a hard-charging, practicing bigot. Not too long ago, she dropped a shocking racist slur.

"Mom," I screamed, oh so righteously (probably more than was merited, but such is the cross to bear when you're a white, guilt-stricken liberal), "that's racist and ugly!"

"Me?" Her eyes batted, vacant, innocent. "I'm not racist. Just as long as the darkies know their place."

Yow. Spoken like a slave-owner.

Speaking of which, I found out my great grandparents owned slaves, for Gawd's sake. (Sorry, sorry, sorry...)

My dad once told me, "Son, you come from good stock." Regardless of Dad's simile to cattle, there's nothing really tasty about racism.

Recently, I couldn't help myself. Fun where you can get it.

"Mom," I said, "you know a lot of historians say Jesus was black, right?"

Silence. A long, interminable silence. Zillions of crickets. Finally, "Bah. What do historians know?"

Ladies and gentlemen, my mom! She'll be here all weekend!

One of my parents is still on earth, one passed. They taught me many great things. But my disagreement with them over racial issues is set in stone. Weird thing, though, is my love for my folks is oddly, humanly intact. Ugly warts and all.

Orange is the new Hate

Okay, okay, I'm sick of politics, too. Especially this new world order that makes no sense whatsoever.

Two weeks in, let's look at Trump's major accomplishments: low-income families can no longer afford to buy houses. The Trump immigration ban? Makes sound sense, right? What the United States is all about. Trump's ticked off China, numerous other countries. Shocker. But America's great again!  
No wonder 1984 is the best-selling novel now.

I'm absolutely terrified. Who's our new US president representing? And why are people buying into it?

Trump says he's giving America back to "the people." As long as "the people" are white, rich, male and orange, natch.

Here's what I don't get...white, rich, male, sexist, Eagles-listening, Fox News-watching, golfing people have ALWAYS been represented by the government. No matter the political denomination, Republicans or Democrats. The power's been in their hands, will continue to be. So why are white guys suddenly rising, like there's something to be angry about?

Orange is a new power group, but I thought the Oompa-Loompa Union had them covered.

Nothing's changing in the US regarding the power structure. Doesn't look like it will in the next four years.
 
Trump proclaims he wants to unite the country. Good luck, Orange One. Your hateful political campaign divided the country. (And, yes, Hillary had a hand in that as well).

We liberals aren't exempt from horrible behavior. I own up to that. Proponents on both sides have turned ugly, bitterly awful. I used to enjoy healthy political chats with friendly opponents. Not any longer. Not even with politically like-minded allies.

The so-called "leader of the free world" promotes hatred like a merit badge for scouts. Someone who's supposed to lead by example of exemplary behavior.

I feel like I'm following the biggest brat on the playground. One who likes molesting women and loves golden showers. 

Have you tried having a decent, intelligent, political chat these days?

Trump has unleashed a wave of hatred, anger and bigotry across the country, unrivaled since Hitler's reign. Now more than ever, people find it okay--even admirable--to bash people, verbally and physically.

Opinions that people have been harboring--festering away like cancer--are suddenly being unleashed with zeal. Thoughts that people knew were previously forbidden to share. But everything's changed. Our leader's made it clear it's okay to hate everyone different! Shout it from the rooftops, dammit! Our president does!

Couple days ago, I wrote this about my new book...

"Not Donald Trump's biography! But very close to it. From Riverdale Avenue Books, Demon with a Comb-Over (with a brand-spanking, sparkly new prequel) is out now! http://amzn.to/2iZz0OH"

Just trying to find an amusing hook.

A woman responded, "Get over it! You're irritating me! We had 8 years of your idiot and he didn't do crap! Shut your mouth and deal with the future!"

Oof! Cyber-slapped! I "irritated" her. I live in her world and I'm just lucky to be sharing it. Whoops, my bad. Meanwhile, she's out there poking the bear.

 Welcome to the new world order. It's like we're living in "Celebrity Apprentice," praying we don't get fired from life.

America's always been about freedom of speech and healthy political debate.
Let's get back to that.

Help stomp out orange.