Bench sitting with Olivia and Arabella

What happens when tough girl Olivia (from Tex, the Witch Boy) meets up with villainess Arabella (from Quest of the Hart)? Well, as you can see below, the sparks certainly fly! Be sure to swing over to Mary Waibel's blog to see how Tex fared with Princess Kaylee.

Arabella: Who are you and what do you think you're doing here?

Olivia: Uh, excuse me! Believe I was here first. You just sorta' poofed next to me on this bench. If you're gonna' get all bad ass on me, just know I took down the biggest, baddest, apiest bully at my high school! I eat mean girls like you like candy and spit out the wrappers! I'm Olivia and I don't have much use for taking names. I'd rather just get down to business.

Arabella: If I didn't need a specific person’s blood on this dagger (she holds up a very sharp blade) I would gladly use it on you to prove how weak you really are. And as far as names go, you can call me your highness.

Olivia: Look, your royal "hyena," threats don't go very far with me. Grrl power's my superhero ability, incredible amounts of caffeine my gas. And why are you running around with a knife anyway?

Arabella: This isn't a knife you dimwitted fool. It's an enchanted dagger I'm going to use to claim the throne from my inferior, going to be king because I'm a boy, brother. Explain this superhero ability of yours. I am not familiar with the term.

Olivia: Whoa, whoa, slow down psycho-pants! So, I get you're, like, a princess or something. Or an evil queen. That fits better. Tuck your dang knife away and let's chat. What's the deal, what's your name, where're you from, what's your damage? And why are you hushing my vibe on my favorite bench?

Arabella: (sheaths the knife at her side and glares at Olivia) I am Arabella, Princess of Breniera. As for hushing your vibe, I do not know what that means, but I am here at this bench to gather my thoughts for a moment before my assigned watchdog, forgive me, (she grins) my guard finds me again. Why are you here?

Olivia: (Under breath) Gah! This is gonna' be tough. (resumes speaking normally) Well, Princess Arabella, I'm Olivia, self-anointed queen of the bench you're sitting on. I smell issues here like a boy's locker room. So, where's Breniera? Is that in Iowa? And if guards are looking for you, um, why don't you give me their number? I'll be glad to give 'em a call (waves cell phone).

Arabella: Clearly your tutor educated you poorly. Breniera is only the best kingdom in all of Valendria. (She flips her long black hair over her shoulder.) I command that you tell me more about you and this place we are in. I feel Esmerelda has sent me through her mirror into some other land, cheeky witch that she is.

Olivia: Command this: eat it, Arabella. You're now in the kingdom of Kansas,  the uncoolest place of all. Clearwell to be exact. Deal with it. Maybe the almighty Oz will smite you or something. But, for realz, what's this about witches? That's something I know about. My boyfriend, Tex, is a witch.

Arabella: Oh, really? Perhaps I should meet this Tex. Mayhap he can help me return to Breniera so I can set this curse upon my brother. He must be an evil witch seeing he associates with one of your ilk. Tell me, where can I find him?

Olivia: What're you saying about my "ilk?" "Mayhap" you better be careful what you wish for. If Tex finds you, it won't be for your own good. And he especially wouldn't use his witchiness to help you curse your brother. Black magic's evil, it'll turn the world into pigs. Or something. I don't know the deets, just that it's bad. Why don't you use your witchcraft to do something good for a change?

Arabella: I am using this dagger for good. My good. I will finally be seen for the skilled person I am when I'm removed from my brother's mediocre shadow. Your friend is limiting himself by ignoring all magic. Dark magic is quite powerful. No witch would ever discount it completely. He is a fool, just like you. I believe I will find my own way home from this accursed place before your weakness contaminates me.

Olivia: Gah! I think you contaminated me with your bee-yotchy cooties just by sitting here! Go on. Scat! Before I lose it. And I hope when you transport, or whatever, back to Skankville, you get your atoms mixed up with a fly. Don't darken my bench again!

Read Olivia and Arabella’s stories in this special release:


PRODIGIES OF YA I available now at iBooks

4 YA novels in 1: 

Quest of the Hart by Mary Waibel...A reverse Sleeping Beauty tale where the princess goes on the quest to save the prince.
Colors Like Memories by Meradeth Houston...Julia has a secret: she killed the guy she loved. It was an accident—sort of.
Tex, the Witch Boy by Stuart R. West...Someone is killing the bullies of Clearwell High...what's your average teenage boy witch to do?
Nightmares by Donna McDunn...Emily must accept her gift of clairvoyance and remember her past, when a psychopath returns to kill again.

Big Day at the Drug-Store

I hate drugstores. I really shouldn't. After all, my wife's a pharmacist and my daughter works at a drug store. Allegiance means something. Yet my hatred runs deep. Let me explain why...

First of all, I can't ever find my way around them. I need a road-map. "You are here" would be nice. There's no rhyme nor reason to the lay-out. "As Seen On TV" crap sits on shelves right next to "Dr. Kervorkian's Cure-All Miracle Tonic."

But I suppose my Extreme Dislike began several years ago. I was sick and my wife instructed me to go to the drug store and ask for a cough syrup with Codeine, the kind that would help me sleep.

The foul technician, more bird than human, sniffed at me over her pelican nose. Then she snidely said, "The cough syrups are in aisle three. But they don't have the 'goodies' you're looking for."

Gah! Hanging my head and empty-handed, I left to the sound of derisive laughter. I felt like PeeWee Herman when he was told there's not a basement at the Alamo. And I was still sick. Deeply shamed. Criminal number one. Of course, my wife being the warrior she is, had it out with the pharmacist later. It didn't matter, the damage had been done, my belief in drug stores irreparably shattered.

So, last weekend my wife was sick (since then I've come down with her ailment; Let's call it "The Thickening"). She sent me off with a bizarre laundry list of items. With a great deal of trepidation, I trudged back into the local druggery.

Of course I had to ask the clerk where everything was located. Eyeballing me, he took me on a quick tour as I gathered my goods. My final stop, the pharmacist. I unloaded my booty on the counter. "Let's see...lemon drops, shoelaces. Oh yeah, can I have some extra-strength (gulp) decongestants?"

I'm sure it looked like I was MacGuyvering a bomb or something.  And when you buy decongestants these days, it's like going through Customs. They look at your I.D., check you out, make you sign for it, give you suspicious eyes and raise those damn brows. Even though I share the same follicularly challenged hairstyle as Walter White, I'm not the meth king of the Midwest.

It appears I'm not the only one in my family with a grudge-on against this particular chain of heinous drugstores, either.

Recently, my mom took my daughter to task. Apparently, the (unnamed) drugstore where my daughter works had the gall to charge my mom seven bucks more than what she used to pay at WalMart. (Oh, boy). Mom tried to get her money back. Ludicrously, I tried to explain to Mom that it's against the law. After Mom refused to understand things like "laws", I gave up. Jumping on the bandwagon, no other choice, I chastised my daughter. "Yeah, Sarah! Way to go. Your store sucks." (Note: This may sound harsh, but my mother's beyond reasoning. Plus I sorta' enjoyed dragging my daughter into the mess in an amusingly sadistic way. Let's call it "payback" for the many late-night worries she's caused me.).

I fully intend on joining my mother on the picket line in our two-people crusade against the evils of drug stores. Won't you join us?

When a teen witch guy and a teen Sary meet...

You guys familiar with my protagonist, Tex, from my Tex, the Witch Boy trilogy? How about Julia, a supernatural "Sary" from Meradeth Houston's fine Sary Society series?
 
If you haven't read their adventures, boy have I got a deal for you. Psst, apparently iBooks have gone crazy, stark-raving nuts. For .99 (a penny less than a buck), you can get the first Tex book, the first Sary book, and two more terrific YA books. Can't go wrong. That's four ebooks for a dollar.
 
Check out The Prodigies of Young Adult

In the meantime, Tex and Julia decided to meet. Things get uncomfortable. Pull up a chair, get comfy, and eavesdrop as they meet...

Tex: You know, Julia, um, I'm not really used to meeting people of...ah...similar supernatural orientation. I'm a witch. A guy. But, something’s been bugging me since I heard about you, a Sary. Isn’t it kinda hard to like, hide your wings? Is that a problem getting into clothes? Elevators?
 
Julia: Hi, Tex. Yeah, the wings. Explain to me how you can see them? Normally people can’t--they’re hidden. Maybe it has something to do with your witchy-ness? But, wait, a guy witch--what does that mean exactly?
 
Tex: Alright, alright. Let's get it out of the way. Yes, I'm a witch. Yes, I'm a guy. And yes, I live in Kansas. Being a dude witch sucks. Really. I mean high school sucks as it is. I inherited my witch-hood, for better or worse. That probably does explain how I can see your wings. Didn’t really know you could hide them from people. That’s kinda cool. Um, what exactly is a Sary?
 
Julia: Interesting. I haven't met a witch in a really long time. Being a Sary basically means I work as cosmic suicide prevention. Not that I tell many people that. It's not an easy job, but the wings are a perk. Even if I do end up back in high school too much. It's not an easy place to survive, is it?
 
Tex: Yeah, lots of bullies, stupidity, unfairness. In my school, murder happens a lot, too. Don't ask. Worse than Hell or even Purgatory. Um, is there a Purgatory? Okay, so you're keeping an eye out on people. Makes me kinda' wonder why you do it in the first place. Does the Big Guy in the sky compel you?
 
Julia: I'm going to plead the fifth on the Purgatory thing. I don't think that's something I get to talk about. As for how and why I have such an amazing job? I chose it. It was either this, or get stuck without a body for eternity. I don't really know if the Big Guy had anything to do with it. It’s not like I’ve met him. Or her. But anyway, what do you do for fun?
 
Tex: Fun? What's that? I dunno, Julia, I guess I skateboard, hang out with my girlfriend, Olivia, and my buddies. And try and stay alive, if you can call that fun. Harder than you would imagine at Clearwell High. So, okay, what if the person you're looking after is kinda' sucky?
 
Julia: I hate to admit that that does happen. I try to help them no matter what though, even if I don't exactly enjoy their company. Some people are just jerks. Sometimes I wonder why I don’t look a million years old from all the stress.
 
Tex: Julia, I kinda' get the feelin’ you must be old, given the nature of your supernaturality. Um, you don't look ancient, like 30 or something, but how old are you? You don't have dentures or anything, right?
 
Julia: You know, a gentleman never asks a lady's age. But, just suffice it to say that I'm old enough to remember most everything you'll study in your history classes.
 
Tex: Well, it's been awesome talking to someone a little different. You know, in the "other" world. Or whatever. Stay cool, drink school, stay in milk. And, um, no offense Julia, but I hope I don't meet you soon. It means I'm in trouble.
 
Julia, laughing: Nice to meet you, Tex. And should I meet you again, I really hope it’s not because I’m assigned to you.

4 YA novels in 1: The Prodigies of Young Adult
Quest of the Hart by Mary Waibel...A reverse Sleeping Beauty tale where the princess goes on the quest to save the prince. 

Colors Like Memories by Meradeth Houston...Julia has a secret: she killed the guy she loved. It was an accident—sort of. 

Tex, the Witch Boy by Stuart R. West...Someone is killing the bullies of Clearwell High...what's your average teenage boy witch to do? 

Nightmares by Donna McDunn...Emily must accept her gift of clairvoyance and remember her past, when a psychopath returns to kill again. 

I think my dog's insane.

And I don't know what to do about it. 

Every day Zak chases a squirrel (the same squirrel?) to the corner of the backyard. Making a fast getaway, the squirrel leaves a trail of nutshells in his wake. However, Zak sits in the corner, staring. Watching. Prepared. For hours. Nothing ever comes of it. But it's wash, rinse and repeat the next morning.

Einstein's definition of insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

My dog needs help. And he scares me. Here. I just snapped a photo of him. Check out the crazy eyes...

See what I mean? You know, he's the same way with the mailman. Every day, Zak scrabbles at the windows, claws at the drapes, takes chunks out of furniture, believing he can get to the mailman bringing bills. I've been more than once attempted to join him. But I digress.

Zak doesn't get results. Ever. Except once when he put his paw through a picture frame. Blood everywhere, Norman Bate's wet dream. Not the results he expected, I'm sure. But it didn't deter him in his dogged pursuit for vengeance.

My wife and I were already told Zak needs to go to the doggy dentist. Now I'm thinking a doggy psychiatrist might be in order as well.

When I psychically linked up to Zak yesterday, asking him what he thought, he brain-blasted back, "What? Are you nuts?"

I'm trapped in this house with Zak, held hostage. No escape, no relief. I haven't been outside in days, too frightened to leave him alone. My life revolves around his innermost feelings and thoughts. 

Maybe I need help, too. Perhaps couples counseling?

Godland's here! Time to fear! Get used to it!

My suspense horror thriller, Godland comes out today. I'll wait right here for you to go get it. Go on. I'll still be here.

http://www.amazon.com/Godland-Stuart-R-West-ebook/dp/B00MRM8614/ref=la_B00B419X5C_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1410973016&sr=1-1

There, that wasn't so hard, was it?

Godland's a pretty intense read and I'm hesitant to say too much about it because the twists and turns are part of the fun. But I have a very strange sense of what's fun. The book  may even prove slightly controversial.

Let me share my favorite comment I received yesterday. It comes from a Vernon Kauffman (even his name's perfect):

"Doesn't sound like God's Land as I know it"

Heh. Love it. No, Vernon, it's probably not like the God's Land as you know it. I love Kansas.

I have no shame!

I've got my pimping hat on this week and don't I look slick?

September 16th. Godland. A dark and twisty and Tina-Turnery thriller.

Here's a look at two of four lead characters:

Preorder at: http://www.amazon.com/Godland-Stuart-R-West-ebook/dp/B00MRM8614/

Tell 'em I sent you. Order today and you'll get free air!

Visit scenic Godland; a trip you'll never forget.

My new book, Godland, comes out September 16th.

Godland is the heart-warming tale of two elderly people who find love--a chance to begin again--within the walls of the Goodwin Center, a skilled nursing facility. They're brought together through the Cupidesque scheming of an impish male nurse and...and...

Ah, who am I kidding? Forget all that crap.

Here's a peek at what Godland's really all about:

An embittered farmer. A New York corporate raider. Two teenage high school girls. A failed small business owner. Past and present collide, secrets are revealed. These disparate people gather at a desolate Kansas farm for a hellish night not everyone will survive. 

Godland is a dark psychological suspense horror thriller. A Midwestern nightmare. Farm noir.

Twistier, turnier and darker than an over-cooked pretzel, that about sums Godland up. Perfect for Halloween reading. To say any more would be criminal. Um, although I'll probably say a little bit more about it next week.

For those economically-minded readers, you can preorder Godland for a swell discount:

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Godland-Stuart-R-West-ebook/dp/B00MRM8614/

Or MuseItUp Publishing: https://museituppublishing.com/bookstore/index.php/museitup/horror-dark-fiction/godland-detail

Welcome to Godland...pray you get out alive.