Friday, October 23, 2015

Halloween Scares!

Boo! Sorry, sorry, sorry. Didn't see you drinking coffee there.
Give me a break, though, it's Halloween. The scariest time of the year. Now, color me jaded, but in my annual mini holiday horror film-fest, I'm finding fewer things actually frighten me. Zombies? Ho-hum. Werewolves? Don't make me laugh. Vampires? What, pray tell, is scary about sullen male models who sparkle? Ghosts? Well, maybe. If they're real. But I've never had an encounter. I sit here, bravely writing this in the daylight, basically challenging ghosts to come visit. (Of course if they did, I'd end up shrieking like a little girl, but let's not dwell on that.)

So. I started thinking...what does scare me? The answers may shock you. (Or send you cruising elsewhere in indifference.)

1) The police! I dunno what it is about these guys, but they terrify me. If one's holding the door open for me at a convenience store, I freeze up. Avoid eye contact at all costs. It's almost as if they can read into my guilty soul, that they know I cheated on one college exam. Or they can foresee the evil in my heart I'm gonna' think about next week. J'accuse! Don't even get me going if one happens to be following behind me in my car.

2) Heights! This one's weird. I wasn't always terrified of heights. Up until about ten years ago, I was a daredevil, bravely (stupidly) riding the tallest, craziest, most dangerous roller-coasters in the world. One of them I can't believe I survived. A run down amusement park was home to this dinosaur, a relic on worn and rickety wooden tracks. Fairyland Park it was called, a less than apt name. Anyway...I didn't even know I'd developed a phobia of heights until my daughter and I visited a (supposedly haunted) lighthouse in Florida about ten years back. I went looking for ghosts, found a new fear instead. At the top of the lighthouse, I couldn't look down, glued to the wall. Other visitors found the cowering big guy hilarious. Shut up! It's strange new fears can develop over the years. So look out. I'm just sayin'.

3) Personal search history on my lap-top! I'm sure the government's got a list on me already. I'm probably considered someone to watch (just not in a, you know, cool trending way). For my books, I've researched quite a few questionable topics: witchcraft, serial killers, lock-picking, guns, satanism, poison, arson, meth labs, the fun never stops. And now, male strippers. Basically, my whole life is wrapped up in this lil' lap-top. Available for anyone with a clue about hacking to see. Especially The Government. Big Brother never has to leave the sofa again.

These are just a few of the things that terrify me. Brrr. Makes me long for a good old-fashioned poltergeist haunting.

How about everyone else? Do you have any actual haunting stories? I promise I won't laugh (much). What scares you?

Hey, if you're looking to jump start your scares, consider some of my books:

Who knows what evil lurks in the heart of humans? I do!: Godland

 A paranoid paranormal tale in the vein of The Stepford Wives: Neighborhood Watch

How about a suspenseful zombie tale with some laughs and a major twist: Zombie Rapture

A decades spanning ghost story based on true events (sorta). On sale now for only .99: Ghosts of Gannaway

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