Stupid Little Snappy Things

In our house, changing the bed sheets is a Herculean task. The bed frame is an incredibly awkward, large boxy thing that's nearly impossible to get your fingers into and the mattress weighs a ton. Yet my wife insists on making it even tougher.

"Honey, do we have to put on those stupid little snappy things?" I whined.

"Yes, yes we do."

"Ohhhh, I really hate putting on the stupid little snappy things."

The stupid little snappy things are like miniature suspenders, supposedly easy to snap onto the under-corners of the sheets to hold them in place. Emphasis on the "supposedly easy."

"But...but...we really don't need the stupid little snappy things!" I carried on with my whining roll. "I can't get my fingers between the frame to put the stupid little snappy things on! And...and...the stupid little snappy things don't work anyway." It was a last-ditch desperate ploy that probably wouldn't hold up under scrutiny.

"The stupid little snappy things do work. They're going on."

"But...but...but...I hate those stupid little snappy things!"

My wife volleyed with an out-of-orbit eyeroll. "Fine. I'll put on the stupid little snappy things." As an afterthought, she added, "And for God's sake, quit calling them stupid little snappy things!"

"But that's what they are and--"

"It's not even accurate."

"Well...what would you call them?"

"NOT stupid little snappy things."

This went on for another hour...

Speaking of ludicrous conversations, the preceding one is nothing compared to those between Zach, a bone-headed male stripper, and Zora, his beleaguered, often pregnant sleuth sister. Join in the out-of-control wacky antics and suspenseful mystery in the Zach and Zora books available here.