Game Idiots On Display

 

You know what really gets my goat? I mean, besides what passes for so-called politics these days? Well, lots of things. I'm cranky! For instance, I never really realized that I had a "goat" until I started using that strange term, "You know what really gets my goat?"

But there I go, getting digression all over the place. No, I want to talk about electronic games that you download to your phones. There's plenty wrong with them. They're created solely to dupe poor suckers like myself into shoving cash at the faceless creators so you can reach the next, nearly unattainable level. But that's all a given. And the endless commercials and ads you're forced to suffer through is also to be expected. (I once asked my wife how many times she's had to watch the king die in the repetitive ads for "Royal Match." She said, "so, so, soooooo many.") 

And these damn games are addictive. I have to spend an hour a day just on daily maintenance! I fully expect to see an influx of gaming addiction meetings sweeping the world.

But what really, really gets my goat (besides that strange saying) is whenever the ads show someone demonstrating a game or puzzle, they've found the dumbest people in the world to do so. I mean, honestly...how hard is it to figure out how to put the pieces of the cat together? The animated hand gets everything so incredibly wrong that I just want to jump through the phone and strangle the animated person behind the animated hand.

And of course the ads are created this way purposefully to goad the poor unwitting fool (like me!) into trying the damn game just so you can show the animated idiot how it's done. Some ads even nearly taunt you by claiming "only people with a genius I.Q. can solve this cat puzzle!" So of course, we want to be designated as geniuses (just ask a certain orange, self-proclaimed "very stable genius"). 

But time and time again, I'm forced to watch the blockhead try and put a square chunk of the puzzle into the cat's rounded behind or tail outline.

It's enough to make me permanently give up my goat.

And while I'm on the topic of misleading gaming ads, has this scenario ever happened to you? You watch an ad for a game. It looks fun and different with amazing animation, so you figure "hey, why not give it a shot?" Only to find out that the fun tableau visualized in the ad has nothing to do with the game; it's merely the zillionth version of "Bejeweled."

Grrrrr! Give me back my damn goat already!

There's nothing misleading about my horror thriller, Dread and Breakfast. You pretty much get what is expected in this chiller set in a not very hospitable Bed & Breakfast during a terrible Winter storm. Except you'll get lots and lots of unexpected twists and surprises and scares as a bonus! Would I lie to you?