Bubble Guts

I can always tell when my daughter's having a slow work day?

How?

Because I get the following text:

"Hey, Dad, have you ever heard of bubble guts?"

"No. What are they?"

"Look it up."

Sigh. So now she's got me hooked, an unwitting ally in her nefarious game. Just when I think I'm out, she draws me back in. As my fingers fly across the keyboard, I'm wondering what the elusive and mysterious "bubble guts" could be. What possible treasures of knowledge might it lead me to? Surely, for my daughter (and co-workers) to take time out of their busy work day to discuss bubble guts, it has to be something of such great import that it will lead to something to enrich my life! To improve the world!!!

Bring it on!

According to Ms. Wikipedia, bubble guts is a stomach rumble, also known as a bowel sound, peristaltic sound, abdominal sound, bubble gut or borborygmus, produced by movement of the contents of the gastro-intestinal tract as they are propelled through the small intestine.

Huh.

Furthermore, "the scientific name borborygmus is related to the 16th-century French word borborygme, itself from Latin." (Which doesn't tell me much except for borborygmus is taken very seriously by someone on Wikipedia and"bubble guts" is much easier to pronounce than "borborygmus.")

Okay. I now am aware of what bubble guts are. But honestly? I don't really feel my life is enriched all that much. And just why in the name of God did my daughter want me to look it up? And WHY were they discussing it at work?

She's not told me why, not yet, but I imagine the conversation went something like this:

"Oh, man, I've got bad bubble guts this morning," exclaims employee number one.

"What's bubble guts?" asks employee number two.

"I'm so glad you asked! Why, it's a stomach rumble, also known as a bowel sound, peristaltic sound, abdominal sound, bubble gut or borborygmus, bla, bla, bla..."

As I said, busy day at the work place.

But enough is enough. Why do we have an unpronounceable name for something that could just as easily be labeled as "gas?" And who gave it the "bubble guts" baby moniker? ("What's the matter, sweetums, has mommy's lil' baby gotums some bubble guts this morn-morn?") And not only is it taken seriously by the French, but dates back to Latin importance as well! That's a lotta high-falutin' involvement for gas!

Gah! Instead of enriching my life, it's just opened up a whole new world of mystery and unanswered questions.

I think I'll stick with "gas," thank you very much.

While I don't offer any books dealing with gas (and for that you should be very, very grateful), my character Zach (he of the Zach and Zora comical mystery series), is certainly full of hot air (see what I did there?). That is until he continually stumbles over dead bodies leading him into a world of trouble that only his sleuthing sister, Zora, can bail him out of. Check 'em out: Bad Day in a Banana Hammock and Murder by Massage. (More on the way soon!)