Gramma and Grammar

Based on age and "wisdom," how much lenience should we allow our grandparents?

The only grandparent I ever got to know well was my grandmother and she truly confounded me, her cracker-barrel cynical wisdom profoundly baffling.

After school, I'd always greet Grams with:

"Hi, Gramma, how was your day?"

"Long and boring," she'd reply.

Even at an early age, I saw this opening to our ritualistic conversation as a mere prelude of horrors to come.  Yet I stupidly plodded on, the living definition of "insanity:" doing the same thing over and over and expecting things to change.

"Sorry to hear that, Grams."

"Can't see nuthin', can't do nuthin', ain't good for nuthin'," she explained very helpfully.

I swear to Gawd, by the time I tried to work through the double (quadruple?!) negatives she'd hurled at me, I didn't know where she stood. 

Typically, I'd just move on (hey, I had high school problems at the time and the whole world revolved around me, dammit!). Other times when I told her my day spectacularly sucked as well, she'd reply with this horrific bon mot:

"Bah! School days are the best days of your life."

Huh.

Grams must've gone to a high school full of unicorns and rainbows and coke in the water fountains and mutually loving pals with no mean cliques or bullies.

I tried to give her the benefit of the doubt, I truly did. But somewhere between her mangled grammar and whiskered tough-love, I threw in the towel.

"Gramma," I said, "school days are terrible! They're the worst days of my life!"

She replied, "Feh. 'Cain't' never did nuthin'."

She was speaking Yoda-speak before Yoda was even a twinkle in a muppet's eye. And I still don't get it. I mean, what kind of message was I supposed to take away from "school days are the best days of my life?" That everything was downhill from there? That I should just pack it in now, save myself a lot of grief? She certainly didn't seem very happy.

And then there's "Cain't never did nuthin'." I had no clue who this "Cain't" guy was (some biblical dude, no doubt), but why was it relevant to me that he did "nuthin'?" Furthermore, Grams must've been having such a blast in her school days, she forgot to pay attention in English class.

Well... Grams odd wisdom and cynicism is apparently hereditary as my mom's carrying on the same proud tradition of not making sense and trying to bring everyone along for her trip to despair, worse than Eeyore on downers. I'm aware of it, hope that I don't fall into that dark trap, even though my wife says I do some times.

So I need to watch it. After all, Cain't never did nuthin'. (Oh! It all makes sense to me now! All of it! Every last mangled word!)