|Marvel at the cute, wacky antics of lovable monkeys!|
Yes, Monkey Island sounds like a Bond villain compound. And, yes, Monkey Island actually exists. Come with me now, intrepid explorers, as I recount our adventures on...MONKEY ISLAND!
Tuesday morning we set out by boat on the Nanay River, an Amazon River tributary. Where the tributary meets the Amazon River, a visually distinctive color change differentiates the two rivers from "black (that's what it's called, although it's not really. Hey, I don't make up the rules.)" to light creamy brown. Shifting sediment causes color change.
|Thrill at the incredible changing water color!|
|See the incredible, uncanny tree that walks like a man!|
Excitement swelled in our group as we walked the planks up to...Monkey Island! ("Bum, bum, bummmm...")
|Duck and cover from flying feces!|
Our host warned us to wash off all bug spray and sunscreen since there'd been an earlier incident where several monkeys died by licking toxic bug lotion. We were also told, "monkeys are curious. So watch your jewelry." Understatement.
Our group washed up, stripped down, and prepared to enter...MONKEY ISLAND ("Dun, dun, dunnnnnn...").
Three minutes into our tour, a woolly monkey approached my wife, crawled up her body, and tossed its arms around her. For twenty minutes, they were inseparable as the monkey licked and kissed her and tugged playfully at her necklace.
|Get jealous as my wife finds comfort in the arms of a furry stranger!|
Elsewhere on MONKEY ISLAND ("Zinnnnnngggg!"), another fellow traveler, Liz, welcomed a monkey into her arms. But this monkey had a hidden agenda, an evil one. Feigning sweetness, it jabbed out, snatched Liz's glasses, and tore off into the bushes. Miraculously, one of the guides was able to retrieve the glasses.
|Don't dare trust these little b@$+@*ds!|
Yet another monkey dragged one of our pals, Kelly, by the hand. We all thought it the cutest thing. Until the demonic beast's true intentions became apparent. The creature stopped Kelly by a small tree, positioned her oh-so-carefully, then used her as a ladder to climb into the tree's limbs.
|Hold onto your wallets and purses!|
Even the sloth appeared less than trustworthy, evil gleaming in its eyes. (But I wasn't too worried; even I could outrun a sloth should it come to it.)
Me? My only contact was with a parrot. Oh, sure, it was friendly enough as it roosted on the teens in our group, but when I approached, it pecked at me.
|Beware the feathered face of evil!|
Speaking of evil beasts, have you heard the one about the Demon with a Comb-Over? No? You just might die laughing reading this sucker.
|Clickety-click-click for horror with a side of humor.|