Monday, December 17, 2012

These Mayans Have Gone & Ruined My Day

Well, crap, the end of the world is just days away and I haven't finished my Christmas shopping. I mean, why bother? If we're all dead, fruitcakes won't matter. Since the Mayans have been kind enough to give us some advance notice about the end of days, I've been thinking.

How does one prepare for the end of the world? I suppose I should start making amends. I need to look up little Markie Meyers and tell him I'm sorry I stole a comic book from him in the third grade. I could holler at the neighbor across the street, "hey, maybe you're not such a heinous bitch after all!" Nah. Scratch that. Seems to me I should top her list.

My daughter's somewhat of a calendar expert. She works at a calendar and games kiosk at the local mall. I asked her if she had any Mayan calendars. I wanted to see if they just disregard December 22nd through the 31st. Her response? "Whatever, Dad." (By the way, the two biggest selling calendars at my daughter's workplace? One Direction and Justin Bieber. Talk about portents of the end of the world!).

"Whatever." It's this cavalier attitude about the impending destruction of the world that's got me up in arms. I think we should all live the day like it's our last. I've been squeezing out so many extra "love yous" to my wife, daughter and mother, they think I'm a living Hallmark card.

And maybe I'm just procrastinating and don't want to finish Christmas shopping.


  1. :0)
    Your posts always make me laugh.

  2. Thanks, Tammy. I thought we could all use a laugh after the recent news horror. Just wish my wife thought I was as funny as everyone else does!

  3. One thing is for sure, Stuart, and that is that one day we will all die and meet our maker. Whether the Mayans were right or wrong, there will be some folks who will die on that day, so for them, the world did come to an end. The question is, why is that a big deal? Did not Dumbledore say, "To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure"?

  4. lol I love this! I have heard comments that the mayans did not use leap years so the calendar should have ended a while back too- I want to know where this calendar IS lol.

  5. Okay, Jim and Virginia, okay. Should I finish my Christmas shopping?

  6. Hey Buddy! It's only a conspiracy theory. DC has something to do with it! Maybe Jimmy Carter...or Nixon. Nothin' against them, I do like peanuts & shredding legal papers! When is your time, its your time. Like Jim said. Don't remember reading this in the constitution either. Someone should have wrote a bill and put an end to it...oh, it would get stuck in the senate or congress, or get a veto! Urg. Do that shopping. After all, you can't take it with you. But you can pay that big Visa bill if you don't go "poof"! Love ya! From your little southern SC gal.

    1. Good gosh I wish I could spell. Need to go to bed!

  7. Oh yeah, Jack had a good point as well. Doesn't matter if the world comes to any end. Taxes are going up in January regardless!

  8. Hey, Cyndi! Good to see you on board. Even if it is just for another coupla' days. If the world is going to end, wouldn't it be nice if it happened before tax season? I swan (and I don't "swan" very often and am not really sure what it means, but it's fun to write).

  9. No! I'm expecting a healthy refund. Yes, that means I am so broke they can't tax me much, but I'm aiming to change that in 2013. I may even have enough money by January to buy a house. Keep our fingers crossed!