God In A Recycling Bin

I was out of town for a couple days and when I got back, I looked into the recycling bin. (Isn't that the first thing you guys do after being out-of-town?) And what do I see? A flattened box with three heavy, huge letters on it Loudly Proclaiming "GOD."

Yow! Things sure had changed in just two days! My wife was buying God in a box! I thought, "Stuart, don't be such a nincompoop. God doesn't come in a box. He (She?) isn't a breakfast cereal."

But...God IS everywhere, right? After my initial shock of seeing a box of God, upon closer inspection, I realized it said "COD." Quite a difference.

And it got my rusty ol' synapses sparking. Why can't God be packaged? Sure, I'm not talking literally, but it could be some sort of recruitment box of Godliness that door-to-door hucksters could peddle. Hey, if it's good enough for Donald Trump, Jr., why not? (Who could forget that lil' Donny was hawking bibles on his website for the super-affordable price of a mere $70? I'm trying to forget it!)

 What could come in such a box? Well, maybe some bread and (faux) wine to be multiplied. Perhaps a vial of holy water. Nice, votive candles, of course. Some famous televangelist trading cards (personally I'm holding out for the uber-rare Tammy Faye card, the one with her makeup running down her face like the muddy Mississippi). Hey, maybe the Trumps could get in on the action and throw in a Donald Trump NFT, something every "God-fearing" person of belief should have.

The mind just boggles. And again, as the ubiquitous "They" say, "God is everywhere." So why not a box? 

(Personal disclaimer to GOD: This is meant to be a satirical piece only and does not represent the viewpoints of the author, so please don't smite me down. Just hedging my bets, your pal, Stuart.)

Okay, speaking of touchy subjects, my Tex, the Witch Boy trilogy (quartet if you include the Elspeth, the Living Dead Girl spin-off) tries to tackle a bunch of tough subjects that teenagers face on a daily basis, including bullying, body-shaming, drugs, identity, suicide, gender, sexual preference, and much more. But, hey, I hope in an entertaining way with lots of suspense, mystery, romance, humor, and horror! Have a look-see!