Melissa Etheridge...Unveiled!

I've got nothing against Melissa Etheridge. She's never done anything to me. But apparently she had to my friend. So in my endless efforts to uncover foul play and various hoo-hah through my intrepid reporting, I bring you this amazing expose! Hype! Ballyhoo! Maybe not even true!

I have a long-lasting friend. We'll call her "Carla." Carla went to Leavenworth High School in Leavenworth, Kansas, as did grammy-winning, multi-platinum superstar, Melissa Etheridge.

But all was not right with Ms. Etheridge. Apparently, she claimed to be dying (I'm not sure what the illness was). So Carla and her classmates decided to toss a fund-raiser and make all kinds of money to donate to Ms. Etheridge.

But...she didn't die. I'm pretty sure her classmates were waiting and waiting and waiting, the longest death watch in history. They got sick and tired of waiting. Anger spread around like wildfire.

And then...graduation! Ms. Etheridge beat feet on to fame and fortune, while the rest of her class wondered how they'd been scammed.

Okay. First all of my disclaimers: I don't know how much of the story is true. Oh, I have no doubt that Carla was telling the truth. But could it be possible that Ms. Etheridge was sick and miraculously got better? Or had it been an epic scam? Did Ms. Etheridge just want attention? High school can make desperate kids do desperate things sometimes.

Beats me.

I would've pressed it with Carla, but clearly she didn't want to talk about it any more, still carrying that ol' high school grudge. When you'd mention it in passing, Carla turned Hulkish and wanted to smash. I wasn't about to get in her way.

Years later, Ms. Etheridge was diagnosed with breast cancer in 2004 and successfully beat it. Today, she's known for being a big cancer awareness advocate. Good for her! But she still owes Carla and her classmates!

We'll probably never know the truth. The only truth I know is that Ms. Etheridge won't be welcomed to come through Carla's window anytime soon.

Speaking of intrepid reporting, you won't find much of it in my historical ghost extravaganza, Ghosts of Gannaway, although it is (very loosely) based on the true events of Picher, Oklahoma. Excluding the ghosts, horror, characters, and story line. Everything else is true, though! (Mostly...kinda...sorta...maybe...)