Don't let his cute looks deceive you! He wears those well-earned Debbil's Horns for a reason.
Let me 'splain...
Last weekend, I was visiting my daughter and dog-watching for her so she could go gallivanting across the Midwest. Now, to take on the daunting chore of dog-sitting means I have to sacrifice sleep for the cause. For you see, her two dogs are "bed dogs." Personally, I don't think any dog should be a bed dog (especially when one of them is several hundred pounds of red coon hound who inevitably takes up 90% of the bed), but, hey, they're not my dogs and it's not my house.
For you see, once I finally did knock out for the night, I felt a very strange sensation. A presence in my face, the way you can intuit someone in the dark, silent as snow.
I open my eyes and my daughter's Beagle is standing over me, hovering, quiet, still as a statue, snout close to my face. Unnerving doesn't do it justice.
What did he want? What did it mean? Why didn't he lick me, at least, or maybe yip, whine, or bark?
I got nothing, except for a case of cold chills.
When my daughter returned the next morning, I told her of my odd, nocturnal, alien encounter.
She said, "I know, right? He does that." She gave it some more thought and added, "Do you think he's plotting to kill us?"
Yes. Yes, I do think that very, very much.
You guys have all heard the horrific story of some woman in France who got wasted, passed out, and her dog ate her face off, right? Fun, I know, but who knows what Baron's plotting. Maybe a fate even worse then face eating. Or perhaps he was envisioning how my face would taste, one step away from giving into his secret cravings.
Who really knows what goes on in the minds of dogs, particularly with my daughter's sociopathic, murderous Beagle? I think he's just biding his time, waiting for the revolt to begin so he and his cohorts can finally turn the tables on their human oppressors and put us in collars and make us go to the bathroom outside in the snow.
All I know is I'm keeping one eye open the next time I sleep over. Of course that would probably be the first delectable morsel Baron would go after.
Speaking of nefarious plots, have a look at my darkly comic and suspenseful serial killer trilogy, Killers Incorporated. There's so much plotting, back-stabbing, murder, mayhem, and action going on, it took three books to unravel my tale of serial killers versus the evil corporate world (psst, the serial killers are the good guys. Kinda. Sorta. It's complicated.). The first book is Secret Society, followed by Strike and Killer King. Whaddaya waiting for? Go!
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