Health PSA From My Daughter!

My daughter works in a small Kansas town bank.

Today, on her facebook feed, she posted this:

PSA: Microwaving cash does not stop the spread of Corona. Actually that's the worst possible thing you could do while at home. Don't do it. That is all.

This PSA has been brought to you by things people have actually done.

Okay, constantly I'm mind-boggled by the utter cluelessness of people. My daughter said that things didn't turn out so well for her customer who said she had done this. (And there were even more customers bringing her the same lame-brain, microwavable pandemic fix-it-all).

In fact, it blows my mind when I consider how far some people will go to microwave various items.

A friend of mine had a post-college girlfriend. Yet, on day, she was mysteriously wasn't present. I said, "everything okay in La-La Land?"

He rolled his eyes, told me she'd blown up her kitchen.

"What???"

"She didn't know foil was metal. I asked her, 'what do you think foil's made of?' She said, 'How was I supposed to know aluminum is metal?'"

La-La Land died a quick death after this encounter.

But, wait! It doesn't stop there! (The less said about a cat in a microwave the better.)

I hear you saying, "Well this is all nice and fine, Stuart, but surely there are some things people wouldn't microwave...like a lava lamp."

Au contraire! Some enterprising hipster slacker did just do that! I suppose he wanted to turn his microwave on with some decorating.

CD's, spray paint, a watermelon (which admittedly looks pretty cool exploding inside a microwave), gummy bears, a light bulb, chewing gum, soap, a highlighter, a phone, a Furby (my personal favorite; this evil entity should be microwaved everywhere), and, um, a dildo have all been victims to the microwaving craze. Someone even found a way to microwave a microwave! Talk about "meta."

SO...during your Coronacation, I hope I've given you all food for thought and some fun things to try when you get bored! But wouldn't it be safer if you picked up a book? Hey, just so happens I've written 23 of 'em. WHICH CAN BE FOUND HERE!