The Problem with "Jonesy"

There are a lotta issues going on with "Jonesy."

That's "Jonesy," the guy smiling even though bleeding out.

Okay, let's break 'em down.

First of all, outside of war films from the '30's through the outliers of the late '70's, I've never heard this nick-name. Where'd it come from?

More importantly, "Jonesy" always dies in the movies. ALWAYS. God bless you future Jonesies, 'cause you've got about as much chance of surviving in a movie as a "Red Shirt" does in Star Trek.

My research assistant, Prospect Google, looked up Jonesy. She found out it means "sorta cute." I fired her. My next research assistant, Professor Google, found out it's a nickname of the suffix Jones. Duh.

I'm currently looking for a new research assistant.

Okay, we all know women and men named Jones, right? How many of them do you call "Jonesy?"  Do you walk past fellow employees at your business, saying, "Hey, what's up, McCallistery? How're you doing today, Sheldsteiny? Oh, look out, here comes,  Smithy! Your time to pay the coffee fund, Feldsteiny!"

Of course not. For the love of God, please let Jones be Jones.

If nothing else, it will save his life. 

*This endorsement has been paid for by The Right To Jones' Life Foundation. 

Ain't no Jonesies in Twisted Tales from Tornado Alley! If you can find one, you've just won the right to punch me in the face. Accept the challenge!