I love the internet.
B.I. ("Before Internet"), I would've never had the vast opportunities to rub elbows with the greats. It's unbelievable how the Internet's opened up an entire new world of amazement and riches.
I'm constantly bombarded with supermodels wanting to "friend" me. When I do, they say I'm cute and want to send me pictures. Ask for a little start-up cash to fund their humanitarian efforts and the like. Life is great! It certainly makes a (just entering) middle-aged man (HARDLY old) feel in the prime of his life. 50 is the new Magic Mike, so my new Facebook pals tell me.
And the royalty! Wow! Kings seek me out! Cool! I'm hangin' with Kings! Sure, these deposed Nigerian kings have fallen on bad times. Sucks to be in their formally royal slippers. But they present their issues well and, hey, who am I to deny them their rightly inheritance. (Okay, not altogether altruistic to tell the truth...seems like a pretty solid investment plan. That along with gambling, of course. It's always good to have a sturdy retirement plan in place).
Naturally, there're a few downsides to the modern age of social electronic friendships.
If one more person asks me to join "Candy Crush," Hulk will smash!
Aside from that brief, uncharacteristic outburst of computer rage, though, I couldn't be happier. People are so darn friendly on the Intronets. It's good to know they haven't lost their sense of true, human empathy.
Happy new year! (I hope.)