Vacuum Wars

Little did I know how my life would change when I took the vacuum cleaner in to be fixed. A tale of woe and caution...

The store was a little one, a neighborhood joint. I always like to give business to "Mom & Pop shops." 

For you see my vacuum sucked, just not the right way. So in I went.

"Hmm, looks like you have 'The Boss.' Someone likes Springsteen," said the vacuum guy.

"Yeah, but this baby's not born to run."

I slayed. The vacuum guy laughed and laughed and laughed. Off to a killer start. But horrors awaited.

After a month of not hearing from them, I visited the store. Problem is they're never open. Weird hours. Only open Monday, Wednesday and Friday, 10-4. And even during those times, the guy still wouldn't open the door for me. I visited, lurked, waited. Closed. Always.

I called. Got "Dave" in the warehouse. Speaking in an indecipherable foreign accent straight out of creaky Frankenstein movies.

"Hello! Yes! Yes! This is Dave!"

"Um, hi, Dave, I have a vacuum with you guys, been there for a month. It's 'The Boss,' and I..."

"Yes, yes, $89 dollars! But I'll sell you a new one, better than Walmarts!"

"Well, thanks anyway, but let's just fix the old one."

"Yes, yes!"

Another month passes. No word. I call again and get Ygor in the warehouse cavern again.

"Yes, yes, yes, I'm glad you called. We lost the ticket. Runs like new!"

Two days later, I pick it up. Then notice, after the fact, all of the arm extension and accessories are missing.

"Dave (which is a weird name for a clearly European mad doctor), I'm not happy," I tell him. "All of the accessories are missing."

"Yes, yes, yes! I knew I should've never taken on this job! I knew it! You should've bought a new vacuum! I told you so!"

Huh. So much for the customer is always right.  I let him know this.

"You're crazy! I spent too much time fixing this! You should've bought the new vacuum! I told you this! I told you to buy the new vacuum. Cheaper than Walmarts!  Yes! Yes! I don't want to argue, but..."

That's all Dave did was argue. Finally, he said he'd give me new extensions. But I'm kinda afraid to go pick them up.

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