|Miss July from Spatchcock Monthly|
Spatchcock. Everyone take a minute and say it out loud. I'll wait. Done? It's fun to say, isn't it? Rolls right off the tongue. I find it kinda' cathartic, too. Violent sounding without the physical fall-out. And wonderfully vulgar. Plus it makes the twelve-year-old boy in me laugh because of its inherent naughtiness.
But the word can be used in many more creative ways. The next time the office clown gets on your nerves? Hit him with, "I'm gonna' spatchcock that smile right off your face!" Or how about this? "Looks like you stepped in a deep pile of spatchcock now." Or "I'm gonna' spatchcock the crap outta' this yard." See what I mean? A multifaceted word, guaranteed hours of fun.
|A painful looking display of human spatchcockery.|
Or maybe some chef had the misfortune of being named "Spatchcock," a minor footnote in cooking history.
But, as I said, none of that matters. Do please use this term, incorporate it into your daily vocabulary. Then sit back and watch the puzzled looks and dumbfounded responses.
I'll update once (if?) we ever end up spatchcocking a turkey. In the meantime, I've gotta' go spatchcock the dog. (Tee hee.)
Bam. You've been spatchcocked.
No spatchcockery to be found in my newest suspense thriller, Ghosts of Gannaway. However, plenty of Hitchcockery is on display.
Now for the limited sale price of .99: Buy it here!