A Hole in the Head

The other day I was dying on the treadmill. My wife walks in and says something, but I can't remember what it was. (Side note to my wife: I do listen to you, I do! But I was on the treadmill fighting for my life!). Anyway, for the purposes of this post, my response was what mattered.

I said, "I need that like I need a hole in the head."

Now I know it's a stupid saying, but it's something I picked up from my dad. She looked baffled so I told her that my dad used to use that idiom. She said, "I know, I know. My dad used to say it, too. I think it's kind of a dad thing."

Great. So I'm becoming my dad. What next, unfunny Dad jokes? (Wait...my daughter would probably say I already jumped that shark a long time ago.)

I started wondering about the origins of "hole in the head" comments (anything to take my mind off my on-going torture by treadmill). Later, Professor Google told me some things that weren't too enlightening. First, the good prof  stated the idiom originated because bullets to the head caused holes and nobody wanted that. Thanks, Professor Obvious!

Second, the prof quit fooling around and said the statement possibly originated from the Yiddish saying,

"Ich darf es vi a loch in kop" Source: theidioms.com

"Ich darf es vi a loch in kop" Source: theidioms.com

"Ich darf es vi a loch in kop" Source: theidioms.com

"Ich darf es vi a loch in kop" Source: theidioms.com

"Ich darf es vi a loch en kop," which translates to "I need it like a hole in the head." Still not very helpful when it comes to the psychology of these drama queens. 

Most interesting is the 1959 Frank Sinatra comedy called, A Hole in the Head, I'm guessing a violence-filled yuk-fest taking place in a hospital's emergency room.

Anyway (back to my conversation with my wife while the treadmill punished me), I felt like I needed to defend my usage of such an antiquated saying, so I blurted out, "Okay, it's a dumb thing to say because we already have five."

My wife furrowed her brow and said, "five what?"

"Five holes in the head."

I could tell she was counting, eyes Heaven-ward, straining her mental abacus. "No, there're seven."

"Seven? But...but the eyes aren't direct holes. I mean...we have pupils filling them!"

"No, they're considered holes. As we saw in that film last night, they can be pretty vulnerable, too."

Now, I had already apologized for making her sit through Henry, Portrait of a Serial Killer the night before, so I didn't want to reopen that particular can of worms.

"Huh. Are you sure eyes are considered holes?"

"Yep. And actually we have eight if you consider the foramen magnum where the spinal cord goes into the skull."

Sweating, panting, out-of-breath, considering the very vulnerable nature of our bodies, and becoming kinda grossed out, I said, "Okay, I think I'm done with this conversation now."

I have a lot of fun--as do my serial killer protagonists--with heads in my darkly comical thriller trilogy, Killers Incorporated. See how much fun by giving 'em a read: Secret Society, Strike, and Killer King.