The New Anti-Covid Garden Gnome

He's everywhere, this cute lil' gnome of a doctor who's constantly warning of the perils of Covid-19, more ubiquitous than that terrifying Elf On A Shelf creature!

This wasn't always the case. In the year 2020, the Fauci gnome made rare appearances. And usually when he did, he'd look like this...

This is no longer true these days! The Fauci gnome is turning up in all sorts of places, a sorta supernatural media blitz with sound-bites falling outta his wazoo. And these days, he looks like this...

And this...

And this...

 Instead of this...

 Who can blame him?

The Fauci gnome is quoted as saying that working with Biden as opposed to Trump over Covid is "liberating." That the President actually, you know, believes in science.

Talk about setting the bar low. Science is like air. We need it to live and it's how you explain living. Duh. But I don't really want to get going on the neanderthal-like Trump troll. That old horse has been beaten to death.

But I find the Fauci gnome's liberation kinda endearing. Early on he looked absolutely stunned that Biden would listen to him. I'm reminded of how excited one of my high school acquaintances was when he found out he could smoke in college hallways back in the day. Absolutely giddy.

Which is why the Fauci gnome no longer looks like this...

Speaking of all things magical, there's a lotta weird, unnatural events transpiring in the stories to be found in my collection, Twisted Tales from Tornado Alley. Here you'll find ghosts, the devil, an underground city, a lonely Bigfoot, and much, much more! Dark humor and horror for your unease!
 

 

 

Doctor, Doctor, Give Me the (Fake) News...

There was a time when I thought Trump was funny. It seems like so long ago...

So, Dr. Anthony Fauci has been leading Trump's Coronavirus Task Force since January of this year, thus making him one of the longest-surviving members of Trump's staff. But not if Trump has anything to say about it! He blasts Fauci at every opportunity, attempts to discredit him, basically calling his findings out as the hated "fake news," you name it. I dunno. Call me nutty, but you'd think Trump would want his own task force to succeed, but you know, people roll in different ways, I suppose.

Let's look at some of Dr. Fauci's credentials; he's been the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious diseases since 1984. For 50 years, he's served on the National Institute of Health and has been an advisor to every president since Ronald Reagan. Without a doubt, he's one of the world's leading experts on infectious diseases.

Yet Trump thinks he's full of poo, because Fauci makes him look bad. Recently, via a very presidential tweet, Trump declared Fauci to be WRONG regarding the fact that we never shut down the country completely and reopened too soon. Trump's explanation is we have more corona virus cases because we test more. Simple! If we tested less, we'd have fewer cases. 

Things that make me go "Hmmmm." I think Trump is taking a child's eye view here. "If we don't report the cases, they don't exist, now can I go out and play, Mommy?"

What a maroon (in both color and other ways).

Here's where things get good. Who does Trump turn to instead for medical advice? Why, the amazing Semen Demon  Dr. Stella Immanuel, that's who, the doc who puts the you in voodoo! She's a quack who Trump picked a tweet up from who touts the amazing miracle cure for corona virus as hydroxychloroquine. Of course Trump is doubling down on the med even though the good Dr. Fauci says it's unproven.

The less than stellar Dr. Stella's credentials read like a text book on crazy. First, she describes herself as a prophet of God. Now, that's pretty impressive. Not even Dr. Fauci can boast that. She alleges doctors use alien DNA in experiments. Well...maybe all those movies I've watched were documentaries? Nahhhh. Here's my favorite Dr. Immanuel theory: demons are responsible for infertility and sexual diseases. Of course they are! The great prophet on the '70's, Flip Wilson, was right! "The Devil made me do it," he had once preached.

Furthermore, Dr. Immanuel was sued for malpractice over a patient's death and several other...ahem...indiscretions can also be laid at her feet. To add insult to injury, she's called Dr. Fauci a "liar" who's "playing Russian Roulette with Americans' lives," and she's telling people they don't have to wear masks.

Of course Trump proudly proclaimed her as "magnificent." Truly the doctor of Trump's dreams. Well, Trump can have her. We'll see how magnificent he thinks she is when he's having a heart attack from too much hydroxychloroquine.

While on the topic of all things hellish and orange, that ol' debbil himself pops up a few times in my supernatural collection of short stories, Twisted Tales from Tornado Alley. (Um, I mean ol' Beezlebub, not our president. Although come to think of it, I'm not sure there's much a difference these days. That orange comb-over is hiding the mark of "666," I just know it!).