Meet the McCloskeys! Chances are you probably have by now, or at least you've read about them. They just take your breath away, don't they? Posing at full armed alert and in bare feet, Mark in a skin-tight pink polo and Patricia in her Blair nautical blouse, just whipping their guns every which way. Why, this could be an excellent freeze frame during a new Quinn Martin television action extravaganza!
Okay, you're probably wondering why I'm beating on this ol' dead horse. Why now, you ask? Because in April, Mark McCloskey said he's considering running for the 2022 Missouri senatorial race.
Why not? If Donald Trump can be president, then I don't see why Mark can't load up his guns and come out blazing at the Missouri capitol. Hell, toss in Lauren Boebert and we oughta be in for some rip-roaring, rat-tat-tat good times! Damn straight! Only in Amurica! Just like in the ol' West! Yee-HAWWWWW!
Let's look at Mark's other stellar qualifications for senatorial status... Hmmm. Both he and Patricia are personal injury lawyers (*cough* Ambulance Chasers *cough*). This certainly is experience enough for him to run for office. (Although I find it a little ironic that personal injury lawyers are packing heat...is it just me?).
A little bit of further background checking reveals...lessee... WHOA! Before they jumped on the Trump Train, they fought gun companies in court, winning hundreds of thousands of dollars for clients injured by faulty guns. In fact, they were at least partially responsible for bringing down Bryco Arms, one of America's biggest handgun manufacturer. Now they're pretty much the mascots of gun rights. (Pssst...just don't tell the gun lovers about this, even though Patricia is allegedly waving around a Bryco model handgun). Yessir, ol' Mark's definitely got the right stuff to be a politician, flip-floppy as can be.
The McCloskeys spoke at the Republican National Convention (*cough* Crazy Trump Town *cough*) and that's a shoe-in for a political seat. They've both gone on record saying they support the Black Lives Matter movement (*cough* A Lie! *cough*) even though they were threatening to shoot said protestors for taking a shortcut through their gated, private community. Yep! Mark's learned the surefire political methods and has mastered the proper tools for a seat in the senate these days.
Of course there's still that doggone, irritating charge of unlawful use of weapons facing them, but I wouldn't worry about that. Since when has criminal charges and accusations ever kept a great politician down (*cough* President Trump *cough)? Besides the Missouri governor has already said should they be charged, he'd "definitely pardon them."
Ta-dahhhhhhhh! Politics!
Our country is broken.
Further proof of how broke America is resides within the tales in my darkly comical and spooky short story collection, Twisted Tales from Tornado Alley. It's the dark underbelly of the Midwest written during the Trump trauma-filled term of terror.
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