Hell-Spawn Hound-Dogs!

Tis the season for all things spooky and wondrous, so I thought I'd relate a true tale of haunting that's at least ONE of those things.

For circumstances beyond her control, my daughter's moved back into our house. It's just like the old days (good!), but instead of one hormonal teenager, we now have a mob of out-of-control kids on our hands (not so good!). My daughter has two dogs--crazy and untamed--and they're haunting the entire neighborhood.

All day long (and into the night), their baying continues, a sound more likely heard on the foggy moors of Devonshire. These dogs--one big, the other little--haunt my every waking moment and slither into my nightmares. Needy as toddlers, the dogs trip, push, fight, holler, broke one of my ribs, and destroy everything in their path. Nothing is safe, nothing is not considered too yummy. Nothing.

 

I've already written about Baron, the devil-spawn Houdiniesque hell-hound who escaped me on a day watch. At the time, I thought his bigger, younger bro, Merle, was the angelic one of the twins of terror. That's no longer the case. One time Merle escaped my daughter and proceeded to knock down every trash receptacle along the block. Just for fun.

Couple days ago, I kicked both of the lil' debbils outside. The usual hijinx ensued: barking, digging, eating out of the compost pile. Whatever, at least they were entertaining themselves. I took advantage of the brief respite and prepared lunch. In the kitchen, I looked out the window, wondering what hellish tortures they'd newly unleashed on my poor neighborhood. Suddenly--worse than Jason, Freddy or Michael--a small furred face, a supernatural hellhound, popped into the window. I shrieked, not afraid to admit my lack of manliness in the face of terror. Just as suddenly, he vanished! Baron's about eight inches tall. How he made it up to the window is beyond me.

I lay in bed at night, fearful for my sanity, my health. These dogs are truly of a preternatural bent. Baron can fly, for Gawd's sake! Merle knows how to open doors and gates! No one's safe!

Speaking of all things scary, it's time to bone up on ghost stories, and I'd like to give a shout-out to my (kinda, sorta) true, historically-based (somewhat) spooky tale, Ghosts of Gannaway. Read it by candlelight!  But without your dogs. They know things...