Friday, May 6, 2016

Don Horroritos!

Ole! I have found the worst Mexican restaurant in the world and I lay claim to it like a Conquistador because it's in my neighborhood.

I'm talking about Don Chillito's. The on-line reviews are terrible. For good reason.
Of course I decided to take my daughter and nieces there. Call it trial by fire. Gotta grow up some time. Showing 'em how hard it is to live on the mean streets of suburban Kansas.

The menu is a disorganized nightmare. You can choose between the regular burrito, the Big Top regular burrito, the Texas burrito and, last but not least, the Big Top Texas burrito. Next is your choice of toppings: Velveeta Overload, Chili Indigestion, Mystery Slaw, and Gastronomical Meltdown. From there we enter the realm of goes on and on. Totally confusing.

The employees then assail you with indecipherable questions. "Would you like extra Big Top CCQ sauce inside and/or smothered?" As my daughter said, just nod and smile. The sooner we order, the sooner we're back to an orderly world.
The chip trough is a modern unsanitary miracle. It's amazing this restaurant passes proper health codes. Kids dig their hands into the all you can eat chip trough, piling up their plates. Don't forget the salsa! "Chunky blended" or "mild blended." Probably better we don't know what the blends are.

The best part, though, is the wall of microwaves. Nine microwaves stacked one on top of another. They don't even try to hide it. I ordered a regular burrito Big-Top. Bombs away into the microwave! Not so delicious big ol' plate of melted velveeta with some beans and flour beneath.

This restaurant is older than I am. And much more popular. I used to work with a woman who said her two sisters rave about it, travel across the city to eat there. Oh, and the food made my doctor sick. High praise indeed.
My brother ended up spending quite a bit of time in the bathroom. In Don Chillito's defense, he did say it was quite a nice restaurant.


  1. Hahahahaha! That was too hilarious! I'm still laughing. Where's the Kleenex?

  2. Oh my goodness this sounds like a gastric nightmare! We went out for Mexican tonight. The place doesn't look like much but you get great food and excellent service. Microwaves in a restaurant! Egads!

    1. I thought the food was great as well.. so were the people.

  3. Stuart. Sorry, never heard of you before. I'm not sure that you were attempting to be a restaurant critic or just providing some comedic relief. Either way, it's cool if you don't like the place. I've enjoyed it for years, it's alter Southern Johnson County. Actually I try to avoid southern Johnson County; with all the wanna "Euro style up scale eateries" none of which would make me want to spend the hour in traffic along 119th, 135th or 151st. I would also make a suggestion to your brother. Mix in a salad every now and again.

  4. Sounds like this place needs a visit from Gordon Ramsay :)

  5. Yeah that's what I was thinking after trying out couple of years ago. How pitiful the food was!
    30 years ago it was good.

  6. OP obviously has never been in a kitchen of a Mexican Restaurant. The only thing accurate in this blog is Don's doesn't hide anything. The rest of the info in the blog about Don's is wrong.

  7. don chilitos is a tex-mex standard fir those who like hamburger burrito smothered in cheese and not spicy. I don't mind it because of the sopapias and honey. When they are fresh its worth the money. I much prefer the relatively new mercado grocery/taco shops in Olathe. Bonito michoican on santa fe jas authentic street tacos with a salsa bar for $1. Its not for the rex nex crowd

  8. One point you missed Stu, is that Don Chilitos is guaranteed to cure any hangover. Also, get Scott a salad! Stat!

  9. Very funny. Love Don Chilitos. I grew up eating and even working for them for a summer or two. Give her another chance Stuart. Call in to make sure the sopapias are fresh. lol

  10. The only reasturaunte that I can eat everything on my plate. sounds like someone likes their TV dinners. LMBO......!