Zombie Cow!

While my wife peruses the morning "news" on her tablet, she likes to call out ludicrous headlines.

"Here's one for you, honey," she said. "'Beloved cow killed by trespasser; ranch owner says not the first time.'"

Yow! Just how many times has this poor cow died? You'd think that after a while the ranch owner might just throw in the towel and quit performing his voodoo rites to bring back his beloved cow.

Obviously, the headline suffered from poor writing. This is the kind of stuff my take-no-prisoners journalism professor in college would've ridiculed for the entire class' enjoyment.

Which brings me to the sad state of so-called journalism these days. Remember all of those 40's and 50's movies where newsrooms are packed with hard-hitting, dedicated, chain-smoking reporters? They're pretty much gone now. Instead of the bustling newsroom, we have conspiracy theorists churning out crap on their computer from their mom's basement. And more and more of our newspapers are going the way of disco.

Now, every time I hear the term "fake news," I cringe. Mostly because I attribute the term to our preening jackass in charge who shrugs off anything negative he hears about himself as "fake news."

But I'd be foolish to doubt the existence of "fake news." These days, people from both sides of the political aisle throw out anything that suits their agenda, true or not. It's becoming harder and harder to sift  the reality from the crappery.

News is compromised. Everywhere. Even the highest bastion of nighttime news shows--60 Minutes--has become vulnerable to our cranky, orange baby king's needs and wants by offering apologies and losing lawsuits. It's pretty sad.

And never trust anyone who only watches one news channel. If some guy says to me, "last night on NewsMax, they said President Trump bla, bla, bla...," I immediately tune them out. Why, it seems like only yesterday that news was supposed to be completely unbiased and not push their own agenda. Those days are long behind us. Even CNN or MSNBC are admittedly more left-leaning than they probably should be. So it is hard to get true news any more. Try to stay balanced. Go ahead and watch CNN. But then switch over to Fox News to see what the other half is up to! If nothing else, many laughs will ensue!

And do you guys remember editors? You don't? Well, for good reason! They don't exist any longer, as dead as a zombie cow. An editor used to be a full-time job, the overseer of bad writing and fact-checking. Now, any buffoon with access to a computer can churn out anything and post it on the world-wide intronets as "news," the facts be damned. And don't even get me started on the misspellings and poor writing in these "stories." Even professional outlets apparently have done away with editors, their stories riddled with errors.

Okay, I realize I'm coming off as a negative nelly and a cranky coot. But having a journalism degree means a lot to me. Having said all of that, there's still plenty of enjoyment to be had by looking at a lot of the trashy click-bait and articles purporting to be "news." Laughs abound! 

Hey! Didn't I start out by writing about a zombie cow?

While I'm on my cranky old guy soapbox, you may as well check out my book of short stories, Twisted Tales From Tornado Alley. In it you will find stories of horror and occasional bursts of dark comedy. But I also wrote it at a time when I saw where our country was headed and some of the stories represent everything that's wrong with our country these days. (It's also fun, though. Don't let me scare you off!)