Anti-Easter Celebration!

With Halloween recently passed (and the nightmarish election having been held), I thought this would be the perfect time of year for a heart-warming Easter greeting.

Nah...not really...

But I have an old college friend, who is a card-carrying atheist, who every Easter conducts a ritual that warms the black cockles of his atheist heart. And it makes me giggle.

Each Easter holiday, my pal chooses to go to the Walmart in the most bible-thumping, Trump-fist-bumping Kansas county (and the selection is HUGE), and visits the Easter candy aisle. There he proceeds to turn all of the chocolate crosses upside down, thus giving Satan due diligence.

He has a routine--a well-practiced one--where he busies his free hand idly picking up something, while the devilish hand flips the cross. He prefers to finish the entire chocolate cross display (at least the candy crosses in front), thus making his definitive statement. And every time, he fervently hopes he won't be caught in the act. (I have to wonder what the punishment would be if he was caught? Who knows? In this redneck, bible-hurling, evangelical county, they might reintroduce the Mike Pence Gallows™.)

I truly wish I could be a fly on the wall when the holier-than-thou patrons (and employees) discover my buddy's annual holiday tribute to sacrilege. I wonder if the poor beleaguered manager is assailed by an angry mob who vows never to shop at his Walmart again. Or if they picket the store (because everyone knows that Walmart is EVIL anyway). I lay awake at night, chuckling, just imagining the various scenarios when the blasphemous chocolate display is discovered. Might they go as far as to bring out an Easter cam next year?

I don't know, but I hope my devilish friend keeps up the good work (by the way, he's also one of the nicest guys I know).

This got me wondering about the "true" meaning of the upside-down cross. My first encounter with it, of course, was the film The Exorcist in the 70's. There, Linda Blair kept having it turned upside-down over her bed by presumably satanic forces, not to mention *ahem* other unmentionable things.

Online, I found two wildly disparate explanations for the symbol. In Christianity, particularly Catholicism, the upside-down cross is meant to represent the humility of Peter, who wanted to be crucified upside-down because he wasn't worthy of dying like Jesus had. That's the pope's story and he's sticking to it.

However, popular culture, particularly in recent times, has adopted it as a symbol of anti-Christianity or Satanism. YOU be the judge!

So, if my pal ever gets popped into jail for his blasphemous anarchy, this is a surefire court defense. "Hey, if it's good enough for the Pope, it's good enough for me." (Then again, traditional back county Kansas Christians sorta always sneer at Catholics, so cue the Mike Pence Gallows™ again!).

While I'm waxing over all things satanic, check out my darkly comical horror novel, Demon With a Comb-Over. In it, a hapless stand-up comedian runs afoul of a demon by making fun of a demon's comb-over. Things go really downhill fast after that, so downhill, the tale ends in a confrontation in Hell. Check out all the macabre fun here!

A Mere Five Days...

That's all it's gonna take, a measly five days to determine if our country is going down the toilet or if we avoid a catastrophic disaster the likes we've never seen. And of course, at the center of this debacle is an orange-tinted, whiny, lying, childish, arrogant, stupid, convicted felon, raping racist.

Tough words, sure, but they can't be refuted.

I've had this growing pit of dread in my gut ever since Trump announced his candidacy (Even though he's been campaigning ever since he lost the last election.). I honestly can't imagine democracy will survive four more years of orange turmoil and chaos and hatred and divisiveness.

I have a Trump-supporting friend who says he doesn't like the name-calling of politics and is a "policy guy." There's absolutely nothing wrong with this in theory and it's admirable.

But...but...when it comes to Trump, I have to ask, WHAT POLICY? All the guy does is lie, rant, yell, spread anger wherever he goes like some demented satanic Santa Claus, and call people names. The closest Trump's ever come to discussing policy is when he said "I have the concept of a plan for health care."

Really? How decisive! THIS is the clown that over half the country wants to see run our country? Run it straight into the ground, maybe.

This is a guy who has no clue that his favorite song at his KKK rallies is a gay anthem by the Village People.

Let me just remind everyone of some of Donnie Trump's spectacular past adventures...

While in office, Trump suggested nuking hurricanes. Um...yeah, good thinking, Don. SCIENCE!

During the height of Covid (of which he downplayed for political reasons, indirectly causing the potentially avoidable deaths of a lot of people), Don thought injecting bleach would be a good idea.

To show support of those who died in battle fighting for our country, Don called the fallen "losers."

At a recent rally for racism, Don lost his train of thought and decided to sway his arms for forty minutes to music. So...so...sooooooo presidential.

He addressed a group of black journalists and managed to piss them off by suggesting Kamala Harris wasn't black. Talk about knowing your audience...

Trump wanted to build a moat between Mexico and the United States and populate it with crocodiles and deadly snakes. (This reminds me of the kid in sixth grade who ran for student council based on his promise to put Coke in the water fountains.)

This was the "president" who mocked a handicapped reporter.

Donnie constantly lies and his recent example of immigrants eating cats and dogs is a shining example.

Rape, sexual assault, grabbing women by the p@$$y...Sigh... Remember the "Big Controversy" over Jimmy Carter "lusting after women in his heart?" Hell, at this point, I'd even welcome back George W. Bush with great love.

Trump calls anyone who doesn't step in line with his fascist beliefs stupid and "an enemy" and he's threatened to unleash the military on them. Can detainment camps for "liberals" be next?

The list goes on and on, but remember, he's the only president in history who unleashed a dangerous mob on our nation's capitol based on his ludicrous lies and inability to accept defeat. Talk about a sore loser.

In five days, it's time to vote. The important thing is to vote. But I sincerely hope you won't vote for Trump. Frankly, I don't understand who would want to. Or why.

Not only is he a danger to our country, but potentially the world.

No wonder I drink.

VOTE.